


Captured Moments

by places_across_time



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki Uzumaki Naruto, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Crows, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto)-centric, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Flirting, Gen, Genderfluid, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Uzumaki Naruto, Hokage Uzumaki Naruto, Immortality, M/M, Multi, One Shot, Other, Post-Chuunin Exams, Pre-Chuunin Exams, Random & Short, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Time Travel, Uchiha Massacre, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship, Valley of the End, Warring States Period (Naruto)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 37,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24985999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/places_across_time/pseuds/places_across_time
Summary: A series of mostly unconnected one-shots set in Naruto Alternate Universes and sometimes even canon. This will always be In-Progress, and update sporadically if at all.
Relationships: Deidara & Uchiha Itachi, Deidara/Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto, Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina, Uchiha Itachi & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Itachi/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Madara/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 35
Kudos: 131





	1. Massacre

**Author's Note:**

> Relevant information: Itachi and Naruto friendship; post-Uchiha Massacre, as in literally minutes afterwards.

Pale hands shook as they tightly clutch a katana. Blood coated more than half of the sword, still fresh and quivering on the blade to scatter as it splattered on the ground.

The 13 year old holding the sword ran as fast as he could towards the exit of the village, escaping as soon as possible.

He suddenly froze on the rooftops.

Down from the street below, azure eyes stared at him with worry and anger. Golden hair shifted in the cool night breeze. The cold and the stare gave him vicious shivers across his body, tingling up his spine and making his hair fluff up in the way he hated most.

Those eyes below were eyes he had known all his life, they were eyes that could bore into your mind and show you your past — eyes that were too easy to get lost in, eyes that understood everything and gave anyone full access to themselves.

The eyes that belonged to Uzumaki Naruto.

In that moment, he understood what those eyes asked of him, almost pleading.

Knowing they couldn't talk in the place they were currently in, Naruto turned his head towards the cliffs that gave a backdrop to the village.

The blonde boy walked towards the tall cliffs with strong purpose in his stride, far too confident despite knowing what was happening. Naruto was soon consumed by the darkness further down the street.

He watched Naruto go for as long as he could before following his more-than-acquaintance to the far reaches of the village. He scaled up the side of the cliffs, passing one of the four faces carved onto the cliffs on his ascension.

Upon reaching the face of the fourth head, he spotted the blue eyed boy and shimmied along the wall onto one of the large spikes that made up the fourth's hair. He looked to his feet, studying the small drops of drying blood on his sandals.

"Itachi."

His head turned to the right, not wanting to face the face he knew would hate him. He didn't even know why he had followed Naruto here, his orders clearing stating to leave the village immediately after he finished his last mission.

Despite the reluctance to face the younger boy, Itachi eventually turned his onyx eyes up to meet Naruto's own, finding a blank stare directed at him. Itachi flinched back, near unnoticeable, but Naruto noticed. He always did.

A softness had taken over Naruto's face, a reflection of the affection he held for the older boy. Naruto stood a a few feet from Itachi, space he quickly closed.

Itachi's eyes widened and his arms instinctively raised up to defend himself, only to stop and hover over Naruto's back as he was enveloped in his embrace. His eyes stung as the blonde held him firmly. His hands were shaking, but Naruto's arms held him in a solid grip, giving away a comfort that words could never convey.

Naruto let Itachi bury his face into his shoulder.

He looped his hands into Itachi's rich ebony hair, neither daring to ruin the moment with speech, secure in the knowledge they had each other for a moment. Itachi knew the moment shouldn't last and Naruto knew the moment shouldn't have lasted, but they both knew that the moment dragged through seconds into hours, eventually having the two boys collapsing onto their knees on the head of the great stone monument.

They stayed together for a time that no one knew, not wanting to let go of the one person they could confide in truthfully.

Naruto had known that Itachi's clan had been planning a coup d'état against the village and had known for even longer that Itachi was pacifist by nature, never wishing to harm anything. It was so obvious that, when one of the village elders ordered Itachi to kill his clan, Naruto knew immediately.

Naruto was many things: a container, a jailor, a prisoner, a shinobi, even a rather okay artist in his own opinion, but one thing not many knew, but had all fallen prey to, was Naruto the deceiver.

Naruto plans were foolproof, his disguises impenetrable, his masks worn from use and his voices impossibly duplicated. Naruto had infiltrated the military forces of the village and was integrated in positions that held power and certain influence within the ranks, meaning access to information that sometimes even his superiors were inexplicably unaware of as they cheerfully greeted the average-looking shinobi who looked nothing like Naruto.

Itachi knew of Naruto's unquestionable knowledge, knowing Naruto had at least a vague understanding of anything.

It came as no surprise to him when Naruto pulled apart from him and faced towards the opposite end of the village, gesturing for the main gates.

Naruto whispered of Itachi's hour left anyone important would try to find him, so Itachi bid him farewell.

Itachi tightly gripped the material of the blonde's black t-shirt in an unspoken goodbye. Naruto held Itachi gently at arm's length before Itachi raised his hand.

His fist unfurled his foremost two fingers and briefly made contact with the blonde's forehead, making Naruto nod backwards at the pressure.

Naruto tiptoed closer and lightly brushed against Itachi's nose with his own, an odd 'goodbye' gesture they'd started back when Naruto was nothing but a toddler and they'd first met.

Itachi left with a sorrowful face, but made Naruto proud as he shrouded his expression with a very convincing impression semi-evil indifference.

Itachi seemed to hear everything as he left the village: the impatient beat of his heart, his hair blinding his face from the night's breeze, the mismatched thumps of his feet landing and the loud breaths that escaped his lips.

It would be years until he would even see Naruto again, that much he knew, but he could never suspect just how cruel his new job would make him against his last friend.


	2. Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uchiha Itachi is used to birthday gifts. He'll never receive gifts from his family ever again, but he's still left with new possessions every year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a word vomit that has been edited in a half-hearted attempt to make it readable.

No sun was there to alert the rise of dawn, but Itachi Uchiha was awake without haste and stumbling over himself towards his bathroom.

He contemplated if he should brush his teeth before squinting at his reflection in the mirror. Toothpaste was soon foaming out of his mouth, making him spit most of it out in a single go as he accidentally choked on rogue water.

Just to spite his heritage, he opted for a shower, crumpling his nose at his less-than-perfect hair.

It was barely a week since Itachi had joined the inner circle of the Akatsuki and he'd already been paired up with a very undesirable choice: Hoshigaki Kisame.

Kisame was half shark, hence him having blue skin, shark eyes and gills on either side of his face. Kisame himself was preferable in close combat and water jutsu, both complementing Itachi's long-range approach, and disadvantaging Itachi's fire prowess.

Itachi could have much preferred Sasori, a puppet master who used long range. Sasori also had a much more blunt personality than Kisame, preferring not to keep people waiting and finishing assignments without hassle, much like the Uchiha.

While Itachi could see the advantages of having Kisame as his partner, he was still mildly peeved, though he'd never risk the position he'd spent months trying to achieve.

Itachi looked down at his hair, watching in familiar fascination as it clumped together over his left shoulder and formed something akin to a black curtain due to its dampness.

He shook off his childlike wonder and rinsed out the rest of his hair conditioner, later standing at the sink and wringing his hair out, leaving it damp to dry the rest of the way on its own.

Heading out of the bathroom, Itachi was reminded of Uzumaki Naruto, the one person he wished the most he could see once more, even for a moment.

Once, he'd found the blonde sitting on the edge of his bed with Itachi's clothes neatly folded, ready to wear, proclaiming that breakfast was ready.

Itachi shook off the memory and went to rummage haphazardly through his drawers to grab the appropriate wardrobe to wear for the day's events. While not a morning person, Itachi had been forced to wake at ungodly hours in his youth, making his internal clock constantly torture him through his later life. This led to Itachi just haphazardly grabbing the nearest pair of decent clothes he could find, slinging his uniform-regulated cloak behind him as he dragged his own legs towards the kitchen.

Unsurprisingly, Sasori was working on the dining table, screwing in joints for a new puppet, and one of the few to see Itachi's disgruntled morning mood.

Their leader's enforcer always forced Sasori out of his workshop at midnight until the next noon, which was really being the only reason Sasori was seen at all outside of missions. Sasori himself was not human, simply a human consciousness within a life-sized wooden puppet, leaving him eternally awake and constantly working on different projects. Itachi respected the kindred introvert's peace and went to the coffee table, slumping down on the couch and slamming his head painfully against the wood. Sasori briefly looked up at the unusual behaviour before turning his head back down towards something he was fixing in the arm of what appeared to be an animal puppet.

Itachi felt his mood worsen every second he was awake.

Today was his birthday and he had genuinely felt disappointed when he wasn't woken up before midnight by Naruto to brave his next year of life together. He almost felt like crying, but he steeled himself as always, remembering he was still infiltrating a top secret criminal organisation for the sake of his village and his little brother. [And Naruto, his subconcious reminded him].

Itachi sat up on the couch, not bothering to move his hair away from his face as he stood and went to grab coffee. Very bitter coffee. He held the mug with shaking hands as he sat back down, eventually grabbing his hand with the other in a futile attempt to stop the movement.

Sasori was completely done with the weirdness and stupid shit of Akatsuki years ago, but he branded himself officially mentally done when a fox made its way into the kitchen at six in the morning on his day off.

The fox was a burnt gold colour and was about the length of Sasori's short torso, with one long fluffy tail wrapped around a parcel comically larger than the fox itself.

The fox casually made its way to Itachi, who made a rushed grab for the parcel, only for the fox to demeaningly bop Itachi's nose with its paw and held out the other one like it was asking for payment.

Itachi did the regal Uchiha equivalent of rolling his eyes and gave the fox a high five down low, but was too slow.

The fox disappeared after that, leaving behind the huge parcel in the table.

Itachi glanced at Sasori, as if realising the redhead was actually in the room as well.

Itachi quickly looked around as if to check if anyone else was in the room before picking up the huge package with almost visible strain and dashing out of the room.

Sasori tracked him out with his head, completely poker faced, unfazed after the initial small spark of recognition at the fox.

He turned back toward the complete wood arm with unbothered eyes, picking up his drill again and placing a hinge in place to accurately measure where the holes for the screws should be.

Itachi almost squealed like a schoolgirl when he put down the oversized box on his bed.

He quickly locked his door before turning back around towards the box.

Happiness swelled in his chest.

The fox had been far too familiar; it was the animal Naruto would most ften use for long range contacting. A fox that small shouldn't have been able to carry such a heavy object, but Naruto had a way with adopting unnatural creatures.

Once the room was sealed shut and soundproofed, Itachi leapt for joy, literally, finding himself almost hitting his head backwards against the wall in his excitement.

He spent a moment glaring at the wall, before he returned to his bed in hopes of opening one of the few gifts he'd ever received.

Itachi grabbed a kunai to carefully cut through the wrapping of duct tape that sealed the package, slicing straight in between the flaps that held the box closed, ready to scold himself if he cut too deep and damaged the contents.

He flipped open the box without hesitation. The box had been protecting a care package.

Itachi's eyes stung, but nonetheless he took the package out of the equally large box.

Itachi placed the package on the bed and found it to be a wood carved chest. His heart beat loudly as he recognised the craftsmanship on the chest, noting the eccentric use of sharp curves and circles.

Again, Itachi almost broke down crying in that moment, knowing that it must have taken hours of painstaking care to create so much detail, and possibly more since Naruto hated making anything from anything he hadn't done himself.

The tree had likely been grown and cut down by Naruto, waxing and sanding done by him as well; there was a red mineral that filled in the space left by the carving, likely found, crushed and lacquered by Naruto himself as well.

Knowing the overachiever, Itachi couldn't doubt that Naruto had probably found a way to do everything in this gift.

Itachi gathered himself and opened the latch on the box, noticing it was made of the same red mineral and had a seal carved on it, which reacted to Itachi's chakra to unlock the chest.

Itachi opened the lid, finding himself faced with a ladder heading down from the inside of the chest towards a wood floor below.

He did what any curious person would do and trusted his friend, softly dragging the chest to the floor and stepping in, heading down the ladder in a calm fashion.

Seals were fantastic, their very nature was to bend space-time and create unnatural realities, much like the pocket dimension Itachi found himself in when he went down the ladder into the wood chest his friend had sent him.


	3. Pseudocide - Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part I of a strange series of events.

In Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, stood a great cliff against its back. Four stone faces were carved into the cliff, each unique, portraying great power and dignity. One of the heads belonged to Minato Namikaze, a hero of the Leaf Village and its fourth leader, the Yondaime Hokage.

Sitting on one of the huge spikes that were classified as the Yondaime's hair, a young boy no more than 10 years old was planning something that would change the course of his, and many others's, life.

The plan was ready and it was going to scare the shit out of some very powerful people.

The boy on the Yondaime's head had beautiful golden blond hair that spiked up from his head, similar to the Yondaime's. His eyes reflected the sky on a clear, summer's day and his skin had a pale shade of copper to its tone. A very noticeable trait he had were three whisker marks, almost like scars, on each of his cheeks and he had an unusually feminine appearance. He was petite, a bit short for his age and, due to childhood starvation, he'd developed a rather slim waist, giving the illusion of a rounder figure than most boys even now as he was slightly more well fed. He wore a bright orange jumpsuit with blue highlights that hid his form, and the standard shinobi pouch strapped to his right leg, including the usual blue shinobi sandals.

He fiddled with a necklace that was very precious to him, a rather large lime and brown crystal reflecting the moonlight from above, strung around the young boy's neck by a thin black cord.

A thought crossed his mind: jumping would be so easy in that moment.

It was a dark night, no one was around and no one would have cared to stop him anyway.

He stood, ready to jump from one of the spikes on the Yondaime's head.

After all, the people that abused him wouldn't miss him, right? He'd been nothing but their tool. Their toy. Their last line of defence.

The ones that cared for him knew where to find him, so there was no negativity to be beheld from them. All the other people he knew believed the blond to be a nuisance and a monster because of the creature that was sealed within him.

One foot waved out in front of him, and he held himself at a precarious angle, almost parallel to the ground below.

He just stood there in thought — perhaps there'd be someone who'd miss him — before he gave up on his train of thought and took the weight off his grounded foot, plummeting down towards a street he knew well.


	4. Pseudocide - Chapter I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part II of a strange series of events.

No one ever called Naruto anything but degrading.

His best friend saw him as an idiot.

His crush truly thought of him as a nuisance, hurt him, took advantage of the fact he would never dare hit back.

His own teacher thought he was stupid, the dullest knife of the set, the one kid who wasn't even part of a set in the first place.

He was the monster that parents taught their children to fear and attack — someone not to be associated with no matter what.

Then one day, he met Gaara no Sabaku, the son of the Kazekage.

Gaara was the youngest of three siblings and was an outcast, just like Naruto, for almost the exact same reason.

They met when they were both 4 years old.

In the ninja world, there were four main acknowledged ranks: Genin, Chūnin, Jōnin and Kage. After one became a genin upon graduating the academy, they could participate in the Chunin Exams to officially become a chunin.

Gaara and Naruto met during the first chunin exams of their lives that had happened in Konoha.

As the son of the Kazekage and next in line to the title, Gaara was there to watch and learn from the Chunin Exams.

While Kankuro, Gaara's older brother, could become Kage in their father's stead, Gaara had a powerful demon sealed inside of him. The council of Sunagakure wanted control of Gaara, so the moment the previous Kazekage stepped down from his position, or died, Gaara would be there to fill the public role of Kage.

Naruto was wandering Konoha, lurking in the shadows (an easy feat due to doing so for his entire life) when he spotted a redhead walking in the open street next to someone in very familiar robes.

Naruto looked closer, his bright blue eyes scrunching up adorably as he inspected the adult next to a boy very near his own age.

Naruto realized that the man looked familiar because his robes were almost identical to those worn by the Hokage during formal ceremonies and events, complete with the Kage hat.

Naruto notes that the biggest difference was that, instead of the Japanese Kanji for Fire as the symbol on the man's hat, it had the Kanji for Wind and was green.

Konoha was in the Land of Fire, so Naruto could only guess that, whatever village these two came from, it must be in the Land of Wind.

Naruto scratched the back of his neck, disturbing the knotted locks of sunny blond.

Perhaps he should greet the two?

There were no villagers out, they were all gathered for the Chunin Exams, so no one would call him out as a demon, so maybe he could make a new friend without trouble.

The blond 4 year old grinned at the thought and quietly stepped onto the path that the two males were walking, enough out of the way so that the two could pass easily, but the two would be forced to notice him and hopefully greet him.

Naruto was surprised when he realised that the two appeared to be related.

The older man looked almost 20 and had wine-coloured hair, while the younger boy, barely 4, had similarly styled hair. The only difference was that the younger's hair was redder, instead of having a dark hue like the older man.

The younger boy was smiling slightly, almost tentatively, as though wishing he were anywhere but here, perhaps hiding away in a secret place of comfort.

The redheaded child looked at Naruto as they approached, his smile turning into an adorable little confused 'o' shape.

The child looked back up to the man Naruto assumed to be the redhead's father.

The older Kage nodded his head and continued a little down the path past Naruto before stopping to watch the coming interaction out of Naruto's eyesight.

The redhead child cautiously stopped in front of Naruto, tightly gripping onto the torso of a small brown teddy bear.

The kid kept glancing at the bear as comfort then glancing at Naruto before quickly glancing back down towards his own feet.

Seeing how uncomfortable the other child was, Naruto held out a copper-toned hand and a sunshine smile.

The redhead looked up in surprise, eyes widened slightly.

Naruto took that moment to notice that the other boy had lovely eyes, like coral, shaded pale teal and glimmering with faint hope. Thick black lines circled the boy's eyes, a sign he took as insomnia that gave him an appearance almost like a tanuki.

The redhead hesitantly reached out his hand, as though if he raised it too fast, something would hurt him.

When the boy's hand reached the blond's, sand shot up from nowhere and clasped Naruto's hand in a vice grip, effectively wrenching his hand away from the redhead's.

The redhead closed his eyes and clutched his stuffed toy, waiting for the inevitable crack of bones and scream of pain or terror.

There was a loud crack, but instead of a scream, the redhead was left there in silence.

He carefully opened one eye and then the other, involuntarily, in shock. He lowered his bear and loosened his grip on the toy.

Instead of being scared and crying out in pain, the blond boy was prodding the sand gently like a foreign animal.

Even the wine-haired man nearby was expecting a negative reaction and frowned about the fact that a 4 year old just sustained a broken hand and thought nothing of it.

If anything at all, the child was rather curious about the attack.

Naruto looked at the redhead, giving up on making the sand let go of its death grip, and grinned his widest smile.

"I guess I can't touch you, can I?" Naruto asked softly, though he was aware of the answer already.

He grin widened when the other boy nodded.

"I thought so. But it doesn't matter!"

The sudden declaration startled the redhead a little, gaining his full attention.

"I don't care if I can touch you it not. There's no need to touch each other if we're gonna be friends!"

The wine-haired man suddenly held a small spark of hope for his redheaded child, hope in the possibility of finally finding a friend.

The blond's smile became smaller and warmer, seemingly more real than the shiny-toothed smile from before.

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage of Konoha! At least, I hope. How about you? What's your name?"

The redhead gave a tiny, warm smile to the quiet and spontaneous, energetic blonde before him.

"I'm Gaara," the redhead said, making the blond's smile widen again. "My dream is to become Kazekage, like my dad."

Gaara looked over at the wine-haired man, pointing at him so that Naruto understood that the man was his father.

The blond's beautiful blue eyes widened in admiration.

"That's so cool! I wish I were related to a Kage!" Naruto exclaimed, still staying quite quiet. Realization seemed to dawn on the blond in that moment and he mumbled to himself, "Never mind, even if he's dead."

Gaara tilted his head and Naruto couldn't help but get red at the amount of cuteness the teal eyed boy was oozing.

Naruto waved his hands in a 'never mind' gesture.

Gaara furrowed up his eyebrows at Naruto's sand-encased hand, making his father glance back at the sand, never having really forgotten it.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said, looking a little ashamed. "The sand is always trying to protect me against anything it thinks is a threat. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get it off, I don't have the best control of it."

Gaara's eyes glanced back up in surprise as, once more, the blond waved him off.

The blue eyed child looked at his sand-encased hand with sparks of determination and closed off indifference.

He suddenly grabbed his wrist and both males in his company winced and stepped back in horror when a sharp snap resonated within the empty street.

The redheads both darted forward to try and stop the other boy, but there was no time when the blond started to snap bones further up in his hand, snap after snap resounding throughout the bare area as the sand became limp and spilled to the floor, losing the shape it had created.

The Kazekage stared at Naruto's hand, which had started to have protrusions of sharp corners in areas that should not have had.

Gaara stared in guilt as Naruto started to click and snap bones and joints back into place, returning his hand to its correct shape.

The Kazekage decided to interfere, stepping forward and crouching in front of the child, noticing how small he wasfor his age

unlike his own son, who seemed to tower over the other boy despite supposedly being the same age.

"Hello," the Kazekage greeted the tiny child with a gentle voice.

Naruto grinned up at the man, extending the same hand he used to try and shake Gaara's hand.

The Kazekage blinked at the boy's hand in genuine surprise before softly grasping it and shaking it gently, the lack of concern with his own safety continuing to confirm to the Kage that this was no ordinary child.

"Hi, Kazekage-san, I'm Naruto!" Naruto exclaimed a little louder than when he greeted Gaara, using the wrong suffix in his inexperienced age, making the Kazekage smile gently, despite his curiosity and confusion.

"You may call me Rasa. It's a pleasure to meet you, Naruto-kun," the Kazekage said, letting go of the blond's hand.

The blue eyed boy blinked and grew a wider grin, looking a little more hesitant than he'd been with his fellow 4 year old. Rasa noticed this and beckoned Gaara over.

"Naruto-kun."

Naruto's head shot up to face the older man, unused to such a kind tone in an adult's voice, nor such a familial suffix being added to his name.

He nodded, acknowledging being addressed, letting Rasa continue.

"Do you think you can show my son around Konoha for a little bit? I brought him here to watch the Chūnin Exams, but I don't wish for him to witness anything too...inappropriate. Do you think you can look after him while I'm gone?"

"I-I'm sorry, Rasa-san, I cant! It's just, I don't want your son to be seen as anything bad here!" Naruto said shakily, shaking in his panic, a sudden change from his previous mood that made Rasa raise an eyebrow in questioning.

Naruto took the liberty to explain his tremendous distaste in such a scenario.

"Well, the villagers don't really like me and if they see Gaara-san with me, then they'd probably think he was something bad, like me."

Gaara looked up at his father, as if daring him not to let Naruto his friend. Rasa saw the look his son gave him and smiled at Naruto.

"I wouldn't worry about that. Back where me and Gaara are, Gaara isn't very liked either. I think that it would be beneficial if the two of you got to know one another. You may be able to relate to one another. Besides, everyone will be watching theChūnin Exams, you have nothing to worry about. If any stray people do attempt anything, just use my name against them, alright?"

Naruto hesitantly nodded his head almost submissively. Rasa ruffled Naruto's hair, making him give a little squeak, one that Rasa found adorable.

Rasa pushed his son forward gently, a gesture Naruto noticed made the sand on the floor twitch, as though it wasn't sure if the Kazekage was a threat to Gaara or not.

It was that day that Naruto and Gaara became lifelong best friends.

Despite being almost a literal world apart, they understood each other's pain and Naruto managed to convince the Hokage to let him go to every Chūnin Exam, no matter where they were, except Tsuchi no Kuni.

The Hokage would never let Naruto anywhere near Tsuchi no Kuni.

Every Chūnin Exam, Naruto would meet up with Gaara and they'd explore the village it was being held in, making them very familiar with the foreign countries.

Gaara, being the son of the ruler of his village and taught by the best, was made a Genin at a very young age and would take any mission that involved going to Konoha, only strengthening his bond with Naruto as the years passed.


	5. Pseudocide - Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part III of a series of strange events.

"Itachi. Itachi! C'mon, Itachi! It's time to get up, we have a mission!"

A rough voice and continuous poking awoke Uchiha Itachi from a dream.

He grumbled, wishing his dreams were real, before he punched the person the voice belonged to.

His fist made contact with Hoshigaki Kisame's palm, having no effect on the annoyingly tall shark/man hybrid.

Itachi finally opened his eyes and glared at Kisame with blood red eyes, sending shivers up the blue man's spine.

Itachi took no time in flinging Kisame's fist back at him and leaving his bed fully clothed.

Being prepared for missions at ungodly hours came with the job description and Itachi sometimes wondered if protecting Konohagakure was worth the pain of working in the Akatsuki.

His eyes returned to an onyx shade and he left the room with the blue skinned man, who had been dubbed his partner-in-crime since his last partner-in-crime had died (read: viciously murdered).

Itachi had no time to dabble in his thoughts as he and Kisame were being sent to capture the nine tails container, the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, Uzumaki Naruto.

Itachi was slightly pissed he had to go back to Konoha to get the Kyuubi vessel, but he refused to show it.

It took a few hours to reach Konoha, but the eventuality was unexpected.

Itachi and Kisame used a jutsu that changed their appearance, a Henge, to infiltrate the large village.

The guards at the gate were given no notice of the illusionary technique and the partners in crime entered the village under the pretense of being wanderers from Takigakure, the Village Hidden in the Waterfall.

They took their time, looking for a short ten year old blond who was loud and was wearing an obnoxiously bright orange jumpsuit. It was a barely a few hours before anything caught Kisame's attention.

"Did you hear about what happened last night?" a random villager said as he passed nearby to Kisame. His companion, and apparent wife, gave a negative response, so he elaborated: "I overheard one of the shinobi near the Hokage's Tower talking about how they found the demon dead. Turns out, he'd jumped from the top of the Yondaime's head!"

The man's female companion gasped and silently cheered under her breath.

As the couple passed out of earshot, Kisame stared at their backs before walking off to find Itachi, who gave Kisame a nod of understanding upon hearing the little tidbit.

They both had the same questions running through their minds.

Who was the demon?

Why had he killed himself?

Was he the one that they were looking for?

None of the questions had answers they hoped for.

After some digging around and eavesdropping that lasted another day, Kisame returned to the inn that he and Itachi were staying in on the outskirts of Konoha.

Itachi looked up from the notebook he had been using to keep track of all the information they had acquired.

Kisame stood with his arms crossed as he stood in front of Itachi.

Itachi had to strain his neck to see Kisame's face, the man was already tall and Itachi being seated on the floor did not help the neck pain that came with being acquaintances with such a brutish man.

Kisame almost laughed at the raven's predicament, though he composed himself and sat himself down roughly in front of Itachi.

Kisame locked eyes with Itachi, a very dangerous action to do with an Uchiha.

"Good news!" Kisame exclaimed with a painful smile. "While you've been lounging around in here, I found the nine tails' jinchūriki. Bad news: the kid that committed suicide a few nights ago was the jinchūriki."

Itachi gently face palmed at the new information, information that was the opposite of what the other half of the pair had hoped for.

While he appeared annoyed, Itachi was truly thankful. The inability to currently access the Kyūbi no Kitsune meant that the Akatsuki's plan would take longer to accomplish, meaning Itachi had time to sabotage the Akatsuki before they collected all the Bijū.

Itachi looked up from behind his dark hair and gave Kisame a vicious look.

Kisame shuddered slightly, almost expecting the pale skinned man's eyes to turn into a bloody red concoction of death.

Itachi stood and stared down at the blue skinned man, making Kisame suddenly felt small, so small, compared to the Uchiha above him, despite being a good head taller than the aforementioned man.

"Due to these unforeseen circumstances, we will simply have to hope for the Kyuubi to reform with haste. In the meantime, I recommend we not bring any attention to ourselves and continue to hide, gather more information and then return to the hideout if no more information of interest is presented," Itachi said, his voice deep and amplified with authoritative responsibility.

The light from the corners of the the curtain-covered windows cast Itachi a harsh outline in Kisame's eyes, burning the image of the black cloak and red clouds forever in his memory.

Purple, rippled eyes pierced the shadows of the dry room. A pair of onyx eyes stared back, their owner doing a rather good job resisting the urge to direct Chakra to their eyes and glare at their superior with bloody red orbs of death.

Pein leaned forward, resting his elbow on his knee, his spiky orange hair giving very little contrast to the darkness around him.

Pein's purple eyes gave off a demeaning air towards Itachi, who gave no waver to his resolved stance or his blank stare. Pein nodded in understanding towards Itachi.

"Due to such unforeseen circumstances, you and Kisame will be off duty for a few weeks," Pein spoke with closed eyes, not needing to see if Itachi was paying attention. "After those weeks, if the Kyuubi no Kitsune has not regained any physical form, you shall both be reinstated on normal missions to assist with funding until the nine tails has reformed."

Pein waved Itachi off, taking no bother to even look at him. Itachi bowed deeply and swept out of the room in silence, leaving the God and his Angel alone once more.

Kisame slammed his fist down on the table. He glared at the empty space beside Itachi's head, his shark-like eyes narrowing to near invisibility.

Itachi had broken the news of their premature vacation and Kisame was extensively annoyed, knowing he wouldn't be able to relax over the little time they had away from work. Kisame suddenly stood, warranting no physical response from Itachi thanks to years of training to be an unflinching killer. Kisame exited the bare room, leaving his black and red cloak abandoned on the edge of Itachi's bed.

Itachi stared blankly at the slamming door as Kisame left from his field of vision. Once Itachi was sure Kisame had left, he stood as well and went to close the door that had cracked open when the older man had stormed out. Itachi sighed at the closed door and walked backwards towards his bed, ungracefully plopping himself down onto the stiff mattress. One thought crossed his mind.

Kakazu needed to invest in some better beds.

Itachi huffed and wrapped himself in the thin blankets, burying himself in a pile of clothing. Normally, he showed no emotion, but in his room, he let out a tired and victorious yell in to his pillow. He wouldn't be seen until the next morning, when Deidera would plant a bomb outside Sasori's door.

Deidera persistently kept pushing his pale blonde hair out of the way of his left eye, which was covered in a camera-like contraption. He gave himself a hum of approval as he held up a white clay model of a spider in the palm him hand. Now was the perfect time to prank Sasori, his partner in the Akatsuki. The clay spider would explode the moment when Deidera would manually activate his Chakra that flowed in the clay creature, making sure that Sasori got the brunt of the destructive power. Deidera made sure it was a simple C1 bomb, so it wouldn't do that much damage to the hideout, but would be effective against his usual target.

The moment the redhead, Sasori, opened his door, he knew he was being pranked, because the moment he opened his door, a white blob entered his vision and clouded his sight before exploding, covering his vision with grey. It didn't stop there, either. When Sasori managed to fan away the excess smoke (more out of habit than necessity), he was faced with three clay birds, all of which exploded consecutively, leaving a very unamused Sasori completely undamaged from the explosions that would've killed a regular human. Having been used to his partner's antics after years of working with him, the redhead just kept walking down the hallway, careful to not break the weakened door when he finally left his room. Instead of a peaceful walk to the kitchen, Sasori was faced with a swarm of tiny clay insects and the uncontrollable urge to dramatically sigh.

Needless to say, Sasori was no ordinary human, his body was a literal puppet. He had found a way of achieving immortality, by compressing everything that kept him alive, including his consciousness, into a cylinder which he was to insert the cylinder into a life sized puppet version of himself. The subsequent result of creating his own puppet body gave him immortality and an annoying immunity to the constant dangerous pranks his blond partner performed. This also meant that, everyday, right after he ate breakfast, he had to go back to his room to wipe all the ash from his humanoid face and occasionally remake and replace a limb or two after some larger bomb pranks.

Oh, the joys of being in the Akatsuki.


	6. Pseudocide - Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part IV of a series of strange events.

Uchiha Itachi glared at the gloomy air around him, appearing indifferent. Internally, Itachi was cursing Kisame and his lacking ability to follow orders.

Idiot! The first vacation we have away from the rest of the Akatsuki and he disappears! I left him alone for three minutes and what does he do? He ditches me with the food! Why did he even leave the food here?

Itachi looked down at the food with an intense gaze, onyx eyes boring into the bag. Itachi blinked away his thoughts and instead looked around again for any sign of his partner, wondering why they had to do everything together, including taking vacations.

Goosebumps crawled up his spine from the chilly fog that creeped into the clearing from between the dark-barked trees and, for once, he wished he was wearing the stuffy cloak that was customary for the inner circle members of the Akatsuki to wear on missions.

He huffed unbecomingly and seated himself near the bag of food.

Itachi's eyes started to glow red, three black tomoes circled his pupil for a moment before halting to a standstill. Those eyes, the Sharingan, pierced through the foggy afternoon.

True to its name, the area was known for thick mist and was clouded in the colors of charred wood.

The feral glow drew the attention of the bearer of orange eyes, who were fluttering through the canopy of the desolate forest.

The orange eyed person touched down nearby to Itachi, dragonfly wings fading out of existence as they touched the soft dirt.

Itachi heard a soft, unnatural breeze nearby and his head flipped towards the sound, his eyes scanning the area the sound rose from.

He caught a glimpse of something reflective before it moved again and was gone.

With a blink of his eyes, the three tomoes shifted into three-bladed shuriken in each eye, filling up his iris and making his pupil red.

With the Mangekyo Sharingan activated, Itachi saw a petit, androgynous child who looked barely 11 years old.

Itachi didn't dare relax, narrowing his eyes at the little human.

Having been a child prodigy himself, he knew to never underestimate anyone younger than oneself, especially if they were practically leaking chakra, like this child.

The child noticed the stare and stepped closer to the raven, giving him a clear view of themself.

Itachi took note of the 11 year old's insect-coloured orange eyes and the similarly coloured hair clip in their unusually colored hair. They had layered, mint green hair, soft locks tickling their chin. They wore a short sleeveless white midriff shirt, long white armlets, and fishnet shorts with a short white apron skirt over it. The child was tanned a warm copper, darker than those native to the area they had appeared in.

Unlike the person he was, Itachi spoke first.

"Are you here to rob me or kill me?" Itachi asked, unfazed by the adorable child a few feet away from him.

The child tilted their head in confusion before giving a little giggle and a brief snort. They looked up at Itachi's blood-coloured eyes with a cheeky smile.

"I'm Fū!" the small child exclaimed, sounding distinctly female, though that might be due to their young age. "I'm not going to do either. I'm trying to make one hundred friends. Will you be my friend?!"

Itachi felt startled by the hyperactive child, but efficiently concealed his emotions with a glare. Fū looked up at the man and thoughts of another person crossed their mind, one who was being controlled by very similar eyes. Despite the scary glare that made them want to cower, Fuu smiled brightly up to the man.

Itachi crouched down, reaching down to a height close to that of the kid near him. Itachi took the time to note that Fuu spoke carefully, as though getting over a lisp.

"Hello," Itachi said softly, using his years of being an older brother to use. "My name's Itachi. What are you doing in such a scary place like this?"

"My family are really scary people! I'm not scared of this forest!" Fuu said, giving Itachi a determined glare. Their gaze softened and they went down on all fours, beginning to crawl towards the older man and seated themself uncomfortably close to Itachi, making both their knees touch. Fuu continued speaking, relaxing despite the rather cold atmosphere that the raven haired man gave out. "I grew up here, so I know lots about this place. Most of my family lives here. How about you? Such a pretty person shouldn't be in such a 'dangerous' place." Itachi couldn't help but internally smile the tiny child, but he stayed calm.

"I'm looking for my friend, he's very tall and blue," Itachi said, taking advantage of the fact that Fuu had no apparent idea of who he was and wouldn't try to attack him (for now).

Fuu suddenly gasped and started exclaimed jibberish about fishes and blue men. Itachi raised an eyebrow at the green-haired child's enthusiasm. Fuu suddenly trapped Itachi's hand in their grip and started to lightly tug him in a random direction. Itachi understood the motion and grabbed the pack that held the food.

Fuu seemed to know their way around the forest better than Itachi could have hoped, leading him down paths he would have never thought existed, and past wonders that flashed through his vision, gone before comprehension. The raven gladly let the smaller human guide him through the winding paths that were carved out by nature, letting someone so much younger show him the way to a place he never knew existed. He gladly let the hyperactive child make him see all this beauty, only to pull him away towards something he wished didn't have to be his destination.

The water was opaque from lack of light, dull with fog clinging to the banks. There, completely submerged in a rather deep creek, Kisame sat on the riverbed.

Fuu exclaimed her greeting when the pair came upon the area and, despite the noise being muffled, making Kisame bob up to the surface of the water. His blue skin gave a stark contrast to the liquid around him despite being quite pale, the opaqueness of the substance making the man appear to be just a pair of eyes. Kisame gave a toothy grin, showing off the shark-like teeth he was so proud to bare. Kisame raised a disemboweled hand onto the bank, lifting himself out of the creak in a smooth motion that gave his hand an arm and a shoulder to connect from. Kisame dragged himself onto shore, leaving himself without a shirt, or really anything, covering his torso. Fuu seemed not to notice, or care, about this fact, nor the fact that Kisame was one of the most muscle-clad people they'd probably ever met.

The moment Kisame caught Itachi's eyes, he felt slightly glad that there was a small child in the vicinity, otherwise there would be a ferocious glare sent his way, accompanied with Sharingan and a very terrifying illusion. Fuu suddenly went off further into the forest, telling the two older men to 'stay here'. It was in that moment, Kisame knew he was screwed and should never trust small children ever again.

Even with superior height, having an annoyed Uchiha on one's tail is not a good idea. The darkness of the forest around the pair gave Itachi dark shadows beneath his eyes, only contrasting more as blood red spilled into the onyx iris, the pattern of shuriken returning and his pupils dilated red. In that moment, Kisame thought he'd be tortured under an illusionary jutsu, Genjutsu, and prepared himself for the indescribable pain many of Itachi's victims had fallen by.

"Try not to wander off again."

Kisame's eyes snapped to face Itachi, unable to comprehend the politeness that the smaller man always seemed to bare, despite never receiving any on his own behalf. In truth, Kisame couldn't tell if the red eyes had been a genjutsu or if Itachi had just deactivated them without notice.

Fuu found themself back in the clearing with an impassive Itachi staring past Kisame, who had frozen in shock. Fuu flounced over, stopping next to Kisame after a fairly large leap, landing in trained precision and grace. Fuu happily held out a sizable amount of cloth in the man's direction, who grabbed the cloth with no queries and started inspecting what exactly it was. Fuu swept towards Itachi with exuberance, holding up a similarly colored bundle of cloth to the one they'd given Kisame, though it appeared to be smaller.

Itachi sat down to inspect the peculiar gift, thanking the child. Itachi managed to discern the cloth as a cloak, thick and layered to withstand extreme weather. Kisame seemed to notice what it was as well and stood up, streaking the cloth over his shoulder and gripping it around his neck. Fuu grinned up at Kisame.

"I wanted to make sure they fit first, would you like some clips for the hood?" Fuu inquired. "I have a whole box of them, I collect them and fix old ones whenever I can."

Like the orange eyed child had said, they did have a box of ornamental clips.

And that's how two criminals of the highest calibre found themselves in the middle of a bleak forest in the middle of Kirigakure, the Village Hidden in the Mist, designing capes with an 11 year old child they had met less than a half hour ago.

Itachi paused in stitching a decorative pattern onto the hem of the bloody brown cloth. He glanced up at Fuu, who was radiating with a soft glow that shone out from their gentle smile as they hummed a little tune. Fuu was helping Kisame learn how to stitch, brushing their own green hair away from their face every time they had to lean over the older man's cloth. Itachi's eyes dulled as he remembered what exactly made him a missing nin, something he sometimes wished never had to happen, but he had no regrets for doing so. Itachi sighed, not bothering to move the locks of black away from his face, instead returning to stitching something he would never know would be important to him someday.

"Fuu!"

Fuu turned their head up from where they'd been overseeing the stitching of a jeweled cherry. Their face lit up with a grin as someone who looked about 18, Itachi's age, jumped down from the canopy of grim leaves in a distincly shoinobi-like fashion that made Itachi tense. The new person was a little shorter than Itachi and had distinct golden hair, shadowed and pale in the foggy afternoon. The person locked eyes with Itachi for a split second, trapping him in a gaze that spoke of untold wisdom and power, an endless sea of ever changing blues. Fuu ran up to the newcomer, trapping the blond in a tight embrace.

"Maru! I made two new friends today!" Fuu smiled brightly up towards the blond, somehow even happier than before. Maru smiled down at Fuu, picking them up. Fuu straddled Maru's hips sideways, relying on Maru's arm to stop themself from falling. Maru looked back up at Itachi and Kisame with a smile, the shadows hiding their face as they bowed their head to the two.

"Thank you for looking after Fuu while I was gone, she usually ends up in trouble some way or another, so I apologize if she did anything uncomfortable," Maru said softly, looking up from beneath their hair in a stare Itachi couldn't imagine breaking away from. The trance broke when Maru thanked them again and left, leaping away like a common ninja.

Itachi looked back the place the blond had left from. If they were a ninja, why had they not reacted in the face of two criminals? There were clearly signs of recognition in those infinite blue eyes, so why had Maru not reacted? Kisame suddenly spoke up.

"Wait, Fuu's a girl?"


	7. Pseudocide - Chapter IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part V of a series of strange events.

Black fluid shot out from Yagura's mouth, coughs racking his body as a tan hand soothingly patted his back. Yagura's messy-grey hair obscured his vision momentarily as his body rejected the liquid that was slowly turning crimson.

Fū gave calming strokes to his back, using her other hand to hold back the older boy's hair away from his face.

Yagura gripped the edges of a plastic bag, pink pupiless eyes screwed shut in pain.

It took some time, but Yagura eventually looked up at Fū with tired eyes, haphazardly wiping away blood from his chin.

"Remind me never to commit pseudocide ever again," Yagura said with a raspy voice.

His eyes suddenly widened and he forced his face back into the bag so he could choke up the last of the distasteful solvent.

"Duly noted, kid," Fuu said.

Yagura rubbed away the last of the liquid from his chin and glared at her.

"I'm older than you," Yagura said, annoyance underlying in his tone of voice.

"So? You don't look a day over 13," Fū mocked Yagura, giving him a smirk of victory.

"I'm 19 years old, Fū!" Yagura growled, almost snapping at the younger child.

"And I care why?" Fū didn't seem to comprehend the annoyance rolling off of Yagura.

Yagura calmed himself and spoke again, "Fū, I am the Mizukage and you will stop disrespecting me."

"I wouldn't care if you're the HOkage!" Fuu snapped back with all the sass she could muster.

Yagura felt himself grow impatient with the green-haired girl.

"The Mizukage and Hokage have the same amount of power within the Five Great Nations, idiot!"

"I don't respect any of the Kage, so get that stick out your a—!" Fū was cut off mid word by a feminine voice in the doorway.

"Language, Fū."

The grey haired boy and orange eyed girl winced at the scorn in the third party's voice, both murmuring their apologies to the blond.

Maru had entered the completely bare room after hearing a swear word start to form in the tan child's mouth.

Maru sighed.

While they were proud of the fact Fū was able to get Yagura to loosen up a bit with smalltalk and debates, it became quite the headache when Fuu's argumentative personality started taking action.

Decades later, Maru would find themself still asking the short girl just how she thought she could befriend everyone she met with such a lacklustre control of her own anger.

Yagura and Fū sat on the floor, not bothered much since the floor was carpeted with a rather large and soft mattress.

Maru walked closer to the pair before bouncing off the ground and landing cross legged in front of Yagura.

Pink coral eyes met blue oceans as Maru started to bombard Yagura with question on his health and if he was feeling okay, or if he needed anything.

Yagura felt his face heat up as Maru fussed over him.

There was a solid three years between the two of them, but Yagura had always seen the blond as an older sibling, someone he could model himself after, so when they started to fret over him, he felt embarrassed that he had made such a powerful figure worry. Many times, Maru had tried to convince him that they only did it because they cared, but Yagura couldn't help but redden every time Maru openly showed affection towards him.

Eventually, Fuu used her small hands to clasp Maru's cheeks and bring them to eye level, acting like she was talking to a small child as she explained to Maru that Yagura was okay. Maru gave the 15 year old a sheepish grin, scratching the back of their head in nervous habit. Despite the confirmation of him feeling completely fine, Maru forced Yagura to take a nap so he could fully recuperate after having just faked his death in the most painful and unnecessary way possible.

Yagura stretched as he was lying down, letting out a yawn that showed off his unusually sharp teeth. His teeth weren't nearly as sharp as Kisame's, instead his rounded off when they became a little longer than the average tooth, but they were still surprisingly intimidating. Yagura's eyes were sunken with sleepiness as he sat up, a state of consciousness he quickly replaced by smacking his cheeks a few times. His pink eyes suddenly lit up with life as he realised that he had slept through the night and now he had the aroma of pancakes wafting into the room. The night before, Yagura had claimed the room as his own due to its close proximity to a natural water resource, letting Maru shove a double size bed into the back wall.

Yagura left the surprisingly comfy bed in what he considered his new favourite pyjamas. They felt like silk, making him feel like he was free, but still secure in the knowledge there was something covering him. Restricted freedom, the best type of freedom ( in his opinion ). The shirt was almost a crop top, cutting off at his naval, and his trousers were knee length shorts. His clothing was all a medium shade of blue, rimmed at the hems with a dashing shade of green-blue a few inches wide.

Yagura felt unusually unexposed when he exited his new room, despite being in rather revealing clothes. He trusted the people around him, the outfit was comfortable, and, if worst came to worse, he could kick their butts without breaking a sweat ( or so he hoped ). It took no time to find a room completely filled out in with raven blue, the furniture coloured with shades only dark oak and mahogany could aspire to achieve. On a fluffy, bright pink double couch in the left corner of the room sat Fuu, reading a book curled up so that Yagura could only identify her by her green hair and telltale orange hair clip. Yagura took the time to approach Fuu and start a conversation.

"Hey, cousin," Yagura said, speaking softly in case there was anyone in the house still sleeping. Fuu looked up from her book ( Tale of a Gutsy Ninja, Yahura noted ) and gave the grey haired boy a tired stare from behind it.

"It's 5am, a full hour too early for this bolshevik," Fuu wearily replied with a topic completely unrelated to the greeting Yagura had presented her with. Yagura almost snorted when he heard Fuu's child-friendly variation of bullshit, his careful composition as a ruthless leader slowly crumbling under the child's dry humour and witty comments. Despite being 15 years old, Fuu was always being chastised by Maru to not swear, so Fuu had started making some interesting alterations to the swears, replacing them with hilarious words ( don't let Fuu know Yagura found them funny ).

Yagura raised an amused eyebrow and asked, "If it's an hour too early for whatever this is, then why are you awake?"

Fuu looked at the messy-grey haired boy like it was blatantly obvious.

"Because, no matter what time it is, Naruto's cooking is the best," Fuu snapped back, pointing her thumb at a doorless side room connected to the current area. Yagura tilted his head in query.

"Who's Naruto?" Yagura asked, genuinely confused at this person he had never met. Fuu's eyes widened when she realised the mistake.

"Sorry," she said. "You know Maru, right? ( What am I saying? Of course you know Maru, we saw her yesterday. ) Well, she has this cool thing where she can change her physical appearance at will!" Yagura blinked in disbelief at the younger teen. "It's true! With her different appearances come a different persona. Maru and Chihiro are both girls and Naruto and Menma are both boys!"

Yagura slumped down on the couch in an attempt to understand everything just thrown at him. Fuu tried to find a way to explain it.

"It's sort of like having multiple people in my body and so my body changes to accommodate each person every time they appear."

Fuu and Yagura looked up towards the doorless room, finding someone who looked strikingly similar to Maru in the doorway, only they looked less feminine, were taller and had an orange apron on.

"Thank you!" Fuu exclaimed. "Trust the old lady to know the best way to explain stuff."

Maru ( or Naruto ) looked down at Fuu with an incredulous look and spoke, "I'm not 'the old lady' by a long shot. Han is decades older than me, so I'm just somewhere in the middle ground."

It was Fuu's turn to give Naruto an incredulous look.

"How dare you — you can time travel! You've lived multiple lives in several different eras and you're saying you're younger than Han?! He's not even in his fifties yet! You're at least a few centuries older than him!"

Yagura was left shocked at Fuu's sudden outburst.

After several inquiries and a breakfast fit for gods, Yagura found himself with full confirmation that Naruto was a gender-changing time traveler with dissociative identity disorder.

Honestly, not the most confusing morning he'd had in recent memory.


	8. Kyuubi and the Red-Haired Uzumaki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto's existence was unusual. Not unusual in that he was a jinchuuriki, but unusual in that it was impossible not to know that he was.

Soft light was the last thing I saw.

My new surroundings were dark.

For the first time in history, the mortals had sealed me away into one of their own, ared-haired woman.

No sooner had I been sealed than when my jailer appeared before me.

I lunged forward, my claws out, ready to impale the insignificance.

I growled deeply as one of my claws painfully hit something with a loud clang. The mortal didn't even flinch, instead firmly staring at me, her eyes narrowing slightly when I tried to build up some of my chakra.

"If you use your power, only hatred will come from it," she said. "Stay tranquil deep inside me."

That was the first and last thing she ever said to me.

They were already fully grown by human standards by the time I had been sealed within them, married to the other human, who had defeated me in battle.

His words echoed through the dark area I was confined into.

"Regrettably, I cannot let you run loose," he had said.

What did he know of regret?

What did he know of anything?

He was young. He had not felt the pain of thousands of years.

Had he stopped to think of what he was doing?

No human ever did, they just lusted for power and they wished to control everything.

First, it was that man, with the blood red eyes and the sinister chakra. He seemed almost familiar, like an old acquaintance, but so had the human who wrestled me out of the red eyes man's control.

Time continued on, his words forever burning in my mind.

I spent years looking for an escape: any flaw in the seal that held me; any sudden shift in the human's mortal essence that allowed a burst of my own energy, tearing away at the seams of their being.

I never found any.

I never stopped looking and I found myself often with nothing to do.

There wasn't much else to see, so I watched my jailer's life unfold before me.

Humans were easy to read, their emotions glared through their features, much like other creatures.

Humans seemed to have be mostly oblivious of the glaring emotions that were present in their lives, unaware of the feelings expressed by others of their own kind, though they seemed to have an innate sense of the emotions of smaller creatures than themselves.

Anything bigger than them that had sentience was dealt with quickly.

Larger mammals were popular 'rugs': strange feet warmers that were made from the animals' furred skins.

Many things bothered me in the way humans lived their lives.

I considered myself to have been polite to my jailer, far more so than they had been to me, I'd be gracious and look away or do something else in more private moments, but I don't know why I ever bothered; the mortal would never know anyway.

Years passed aimlessly, I eventually gave up even on following this human's life.

The echo of my jailer's voice rang out through the darkness, followed by a wave of contained joy that never reached me.

"I'm pregnant!"

I had heard the term before, used by humans to describe when they were with child.

My attention was caught by this faint sound.

While a female bore children, their bodies use a large amount of their chakra energy to help develop the offspring.

This may be my chance to escape.

It was ten months before my jailer went began labour.

I tried my hardest, I pushed beyond my preset limits in the seal, I sent unreal amounts of my natural energy into the seal, but my attempts were futile.

The seal held and darkness engulfed me once more.

"We came here to be the vessels of the Nine-Tails," I heard my vessel say. "But before that, we must find love and fill the vessel with it."

My jailer was old for a human, long living being a trait that was apparently passed through their family's blood.

They were comforting a red-haired child that looked strikingly similar to my captor.

It became apparent that there were plans to seal me away in this new human – a very young one.

They seemed scared to become my vessel, but I really could not care much less.

Humans were weak.

They were soft and easily crushed.

Their emotions were like chakra: easily manipulated by those with any idea of what they were actually doing.

I paid no attention when they sealed me into my next 'host'.

I had minuscule chances of escape, all of which were dashed away when my jailer used golden chains molded from their own chakra to steady an already unbreajable seal.

The chains held me firmer than her gaze and I wondered how a human so near death could still wield such power.

My new vessel wasn't much different than the other.

They were definitely less mature, still developing, making and breaking bonds, and enjoying life.

I almost felt pity for them – becoming the host of a demon was bound to have negative repercussions in such a biased species – but they were still grown by human standards, so I held them in the same regard as other mortals. They could look after themselves.

Once more, my jailer came before me.

She spoke different words than her relative, but in the end, she said the same thing: stay put.

"..but I'm here to watch you."

That was all that I caught of what my new jailer said.

I ignored them.

They left.

I looked around.

This place was so similar to the space the previous woman kept me in. It was dark, shadowed with leafy green tones. I saw the metallic bars that held me within the uncomfortable cell.

It felt so cramped.

The seal keeping me in this human's body was quite obviously somehow better than the last.

I faced away from the open space beyond the cage, looking down at my claws.

My whole body slumped over and I took away to a nap, wanting to forget all the hatred in my heart.

"Kyūbi no Kitsune."

Nine-Tailed Fox.

A fitting title, since that was what I was, but it irked me slightly.

I didn't turn around, instead I sat up glaring at wall.

My jailer seated themself limply a few yards away from my cage, just out of reach of where my claws could reach from behind the bars.

I deepened my voice, my fur bristled, my eyes began to glow a dark red hue.

"Have you come to free me, or are you just as narrow sighted as the previous brats?" I asked.

She seemed taken aback, I can't see why.

She cleared her throat and I turned only my head to face her. She didn't show her fear, but her poker face was useless. The terror she felt was commendably low for a human facing someone as large as myself, though the emotion still rippled across the area in full force.

Something about this place seemed similar to my old 'host', though I do wish there was more light, at least then I might actually have something to do while I spent years in solitude in a cage too small for me.

"No," she said. I raised an eyebrow, No? That's it? Not even a full answer, pathetic.

"No, I can't set you free, but..." my jailer trailed off. At least she's actually answering me now.

"I just came here to talk," she said, lips in a firm line, eyes narrowed.

Once again, parallels between her and my old jailer drew closer. My old 'host' had this same hair, vibrant, akin to my own dark fur's shades.

She started rambling; it was something I'd gathered was a common trait in her lineage. I didn't understand half of what she was talking about – I'm still unsure what a peh-deh-cure is – and the other half, I simply tuned out.

"Neither of us have any sort of luck, do we?" she said, catching my attention. "You keep the world at bay...but I keep you at bay." I guess she right, in a way.

The only reason I was sealed into this worthless human was because I was powerful; these mortals needed a weapon, so they targeted unthreatened beings.

My siblings, if you could even call them that, had been sealed away as well, by the same man who defeated me. We were just power, simple tools of mass destruction, to these humans. Their lives were short, they strived for attention, they yearned love yet they were never satisfied.

It was soon after those insightful words that she left and I was left to curl up alone once more.

"I'm pregnant!"

The same echo I'd heard decades ago exploded through the chamber.

I, of course, already knew about the new life growing in my vessel. What type of prisoner would I be if I didn't know what was going on in my 'gracious' host's body?

I heard the exchange my vessel shared with her partner. Her verbal tic was almost contagious and her partner was in unwarranted disbelief, repeating the phrase, 'and I'm going to be a father' softly every time she would exclaim, 'I'm going to be a mother, ya know!'

It was strangely heart-warming, in the way that a person is hot when standing half in a bonfire.

I could feel the life as they grew within my host and there was something strange happening.

I should be right in thinking that human offspring had gendered organs, but there was distortion happening in those defining areas of the kit's body.

It seemed that the life wasn't developing right.

The 'doctors' that checked up on my host didn't notice the strange changes, but then again, humans aren't as smart as they lead themselves to believe. I knew this life was different, not just by the distortions of their construction, but with their chakra, their vital essence.

They were two people in one lifeform, and I feared that I was becoming one of them.


	9. Massacre - The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm the only one who can handle all that hate! Do you understand? I'm the only one who can fulfill that duty, so I'll bear the burden of your hatred, and I'll die with you! Because-" they were so (too) alike, and he couldn't let Sasuke suffer alone like he had.

A short blur of colours slunk swiftly through the shadows.

Blue eyes shone wide with panicked awareness, glancing in every direction, studying everyone and everything around him.

The academy was getting closer, just a few meters away.

A lady in a floral button dress passed nearby, taking an early morning stroll without a worry.

A little girl with a braided ponytail walked beside her blue haired mother, heading home after a night at their friend's house.

A woman in a pastel pink happi was chatting with a young lady, an acquaintance, both merrily window shopping.

No one of the streets noticed the young child terrified out of his mind, running between the shadows to a place that was as close to a haven as possible at this time of day.

He reached a wide school building.

The entrance was on the back left of the school grounds; a large white cylinder with overhanging orange roofs at every new floor. The cylinder was connected to a longer, also white, building with an angled rectangular shape and the same over handing roofs on every floor.

He made a dash through the sunlit area between the street and the school entrance, passing the lone swing that hung on one of the more lonesome trees on the school grounds. He all but lunged inside the building, not wanting to get caught and be late...again.

His pace calmed down significantly when he was greeted with the wooden interior of the academy, almost letting a sigh pass his lips.

His stayed close to the walls, navigating his way around the memorised hallways to the teachers' lounge.

The lounge was about the same size as most of the classrooms in the building - maybe smaller - and there was a fridge on the opposite side of the wall that held the door. He ignored the fridge and went straight to the cupboard. Not at all intimidated by the high placements of the cupboards, he dragged his small frame up the counter and climbed into one of the cupboards.

Not wanting to alert any teachers of his presence, he took only the ambiguous foods that he knew no one would notice were missing. There was a Pretz packet, and something similar to Pocky which he carefully ripped open the packet of and grabbed a few sticks. There were a few containers of old cling film-wrapped plates of castella that he darted in and out of, stealing most of the platter's contents. A handful of onigiri rice balls later and he found himself staring emptily at a stack of bento boxes, forgotten in the back of the cupboard. Why were they there?

Something akin to anger bubbled in his chest, unsure of why, he jumped out of the cupboard, leaving the door of the teacher's lounge firmly closer behind him.

Escaping to class was easier than usual.

On days like this, teachers would be at school early, trying to get all their paperwork done before hyperactive children came to fill the hallways.

One specific young boy was making his way to class in a peaceful drift down the halls, munching on the stolen onigiri, relishing in first nutritious food he'd eaten in an uncertain length of time. Chewing quickly on the rice balls, he manoeuvred his way into his year group's classroom.

It was empty.

There was a large area at the front of the room – to the right of the door – where the teacher's desk and a large chalkboard sat. The student seating arrangements had students partnered on desks of threes with nine in a row. The seats were tiered and every three desks a new tier appeared. Three tiers with three desks on each tier that can each hold three students – what an overuse of the number three.

Having finished the onigiri he'd stolen, he dropped the packaging into the bin and headed to the back left corner of the class. He slid himself across the three-seater and leaned forward to rest his cheek on the inside of his forearm, choosing to look out the window he's sat next to and stare at the open grounds of the front of the Academy, where the lone swing hung in the dark shade of the tree above it.

He was early, which was mostly a blessing. Knowing his life, it was likely someone had started ransacking his apartment, or were drawing horrid graffiti all over the building he lived in.

He thought of 'what if' scenarios – what if he'd woken up just an hour later? - before he reminded himself to never think of what could've been; thinking like that was only mentally destructive and wouldn't benefit anyone, nor could he just stop the thoughts of a different future, though.

His head jerked up to look across the room at the door as it was gently swung open.

A girl the same age as him walked in and absentmindedly started walking up to the third desk tier. She had unpigmented eyes with no visible pupil and her whole body gave off an aura of inferiority to those around her.

He knew her, her eyes gave away her clan, the Hyūga, but her shyness wasn't a tribute seen in the noble clan; if anything, the Hyūga often had superiority complexes. This form of thinking had split the Hyūga into two branches, the Main and the Side Branch (not very creative, but they didn't have Naruto on their PR team at the time of thei rcreation). The Hyūga heir was a different story. She was shy and, due to her pacifistic nature, she wouldn't hurt anyone when when she sparred with her family, marking her as weak.

The Hyūga girl made it to the desk he was sitting at before noticing he was there at all. Her pale eyes widened and her petite hands dashed up to be clasped in front of her chest.

Her face became flushed with red hues and she started stuttering a greeting.

"N-Naruto-kun! I- I've never never seen you at school so- this early, I didn't – I didn't see you there, ha- how are you?" she managed to stumble out.

He tilted his head and gave her a perplexed smile, not entirely sure how to react to her unusual behaviour.

"I'm fine, thanks," he replied. "You're Hinata, right?"

Her eyes opened wider – if that was even possible – and she fiddled with her index fingers as she interacted with him. She gave a small nod, her cheeks gaining a darker hue of red.

Naruto pondered her use of -kun at the end of his name - wasn't that suffix used for people you were close to? Did Hinata think they were close? What could he have done to even deserve a suffix at the end of his name? He noticed she was just standing at the end of the desk, hesitant to sit down, but hesitant to sit somewhere else.

"Hey," he said, gaining the Hyūga's attention, "you don't have to worry about sitting beside me, I don't bite, ya know!"

A darker hue of red yet again took control of Hinata's face and she gave Naruto a courteous nod, seating herself on the opposite side the same desk as him.

She saw the way he turned to stare out the window and she wondered if he was looking for something.

To her, his messy blonde hair looked so soft, she wondered what it felt like. She had the urge to run her hand through his hair, but she feared his disapproval and the awkward mood that would surely follow. She instead chose to study him.

She gazed at his ever watchful eyes, how they glimmered when they caught the sun.

She wondered about the scar-like marks on his cheeks, three on each, perfectly parallel to each other. They looked quite a bit like whisker marks, she thought, much like a cat or a seal.

Hinata sat up straighter as the door swung open, almost as gently as she had opened it.

Another boy, the same age as the two already present in the room. His dark eyes seemed to shake slightly, his hands tensed into stillness and his walked without thinking, lost in a blank nothing.

Naruto saw him enter through the corner of his eye and knew exactly what was wrong.

He chose not to say a word as the boy neglected his usual greeting for Hinata, the only person that came before her to the Academy, and sat at the back tier of the classroom, like the other two, though he sat on the desk opposite the window, away from Naruto and Hinata.

Hinata glanced in worry at Naruto, noting the knowing look his beautiful eyes held. She was startled as Naruto swiftly rose from his chair and practically stomped his way over to the classroom's new arrival.

Naruto dumped himself down next to the boy in low spirits, clasping his hand around the boy's own hand that lay on the table.

This caught the boy's attention, making him give the blonde a judgmental look.

Naruto just looked straight ahead casually, squeezing the older boy's hand gently.

The eyes of the other boy became soft and looked down, finding himself strangely comforted by the appearance of his brash classmate.

Everything seemed too normal after what had happened so recently. It almost felt wrong, but with Naruto beside him, it almost felt right.

Naruto turned to look at the black-haired Uchiha, earning another judgemental look from the black haired boy.

Naruto didn't say anything, he just used his strong grip on the Uchiha to drag him to the desk beside the window and forcefully seat him between him and Hinata.

Hyūga, Uchiha, Uzumaki; what a strange assortment of family names.

The boy was about to leave the weirdos of the class alone before he realised the immense comforting air the radiated off the two.

The warm feeling was directed at him and his eyes and stature became fragile. It wasn't like the pity he'd been avoiding the last few weeks - it was sincere and an affirmation of 'We're here.' He felt tears flitter to his eyes, just like the night that set everything off, the night he dearly wanted to forget.

Hinata saw the sorrow in the Uchiha, unsure of how or why it was there, but as she noted that Naruto hadn't let go of the boy's hand, she went to clasp his other.

They stayed like that for a while, until the eldest boy in their trio started letting his tears fall.

Naruto let go of the Uchiha's hand to embrace him, burying the boy's head of black hair into his chest. Hinata decided that Naruto had brought the Uchiha towards her for a reason, instead of its comforting him on his own, so she shuffled closer to the pair and let the weight of her side act like a weighted blanket.

"Don't worry, Sasuke. No one will see us. Let it all out, Sasuke, it'll be better that way, Sasuke." Naruto whispered sweet nothings into the boy's ears, repeating his name over and over to keep the older child grounded after his ordeal.

There was something in the way Naruto spoke to him, the emotion he held back. Sasuke felt the warmth that engulfed him and relished in it; it was almost as though they were his parents and while he knew his father would never do such a thing, his elder brother most certainly would have once upon a time. The thought of his family made his cheeks soak themselves with the salty fluid leaving his eyes.

He sniffled and buried himself further in Naruto's chest. His two classmates were so willing to help him and he couldn't understand why, but he accepted their pitiless consolation.

By the time the other students had started filing in, Sasuke's eyes had begun to clear of their bloodshot colour.

Naruto and Hinata held his hands beneath the desk, occasionally tightening their grip whenever someone got within a desk's length away.

Two girls were the most notable of their age group: Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino. They were both deeply infatuated with Sasuke, obsessing over him and giving a bad name to the kunoichi of their year. Ino was actually a relatively interesting person, if not meanspirited like many other children - she respected Sasuke enough to mostly watch him from a distance, though not creepily, and fight for his affection with other girls. Sakura was the real problem. She didn't seem to have any control over her tongue, she was bordering on stalker-ish and she didn't seem to have any sense of social cues.

When Ino saw Sasuke sitting at a full desk, she was pouty about it, but she went to go sit somewhere else. Sakura was a different story.

"NARUTO-BAKA!"

Sakura stomped her way to the back of the classroom and placed herself in front of Naruto, practically screaming her head off at him.

If Naruto was irked by the fact that Sakura called him an idiot, he didn't show it, but he did show great distain when she told him to, not so politely, move to a different seat.

Sakura was relentless and Sasuke looked to intervene, but he was halted as Naruto gave a small squeeze of his hand and let go.

Naruto abruptly stood up, leaned over the desk and used his middle finger to push Sakura back by her chest. Sakura was greatly offended as Naruto subtly pointed out the part of herself she was most self conscious about.

Sasuke took this time to speak up. Naruto could only watch.

Sasuke stood up, reaching a height a few inches above Naruto. Naruto could barely hear him over his surprise, only watch in vain as Sasuke mouthed words. They seemed loud, with large gestures and furrowed eyebrows. Hinata later spoke of the anger Sasuke had spoken with, proudly defending him, driving Sakura to tears. Sakura blamed Naruto, thinking he'd somehow brainwashed 'her Sasuke-kun.' She left in anger, storming away to sit next to two civilian-born children.

Naruto was suddenly hit by a flurry of sounds as Sasuke sat back down, making his grip his ears. Sasuke and Hinata gave him concerned glances. Not wanting to worry them, he gave them a wide smile and sat down.

Hinata and Sasuke glanced at their classmate again before their teacher walked in.


	10. I'm Your Mum Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto really needs to think before he speaks.

Sasuke stormed out of the compound, trying to keep a level head until he was alone.

The door was opened harshly and slammed beside him as he grumpily thumped his back against the car seat.

Naruto took that as a sign to book it out of the Uchiha Estate.

Half an hour of frustrated fuming from Sasuke and Naruto flirting his way out of twelve speeding tickets led them to the Namikaze Compound.

Upon reaching the threshold of the land, Sasuke practically broke down the door of the still-moving car and started angrily speed walking the multi-mile trek up one of the mountains contained within the Namikaze grounds. Naruto sighed in exasperation, hitting his head against the steering wheel before leaving the car alone on the side of the path to catch up with Sasuke.

It wasn't unexpected when Sasuke started ranting about his shitty parents.

It became apparent that they had been leeching off the money his older brother, Itachi, despite their already multi-million dollar businesses. He described them as awful people, treating their only two children like businesses, pretending as though it was Itachi's obligation as the eldest son to make all the relevant money in the already-rich family.

Sasuke ranted on about how his parents had always ignored him, with Naruto calmly keeping up with the ever growing pace of his best friend as they drew slowly closer to the Hokage Peak of the Namikaze Mountain. Sasuke's face slowly became progressively redder from all the shouting he was doing, earning several encouragements to breath from Naruto.

He eventually found himself annoyed at all the shit Sasuke's parents were pulling and decided to speak up.

"You know what?" Naruto held a firm standing in his belief as he continued. "I'm gonna be your dad now. And your mum. Your...dom. WAIT SHIT NO-"

Sasuke fell into a chasm of laughter and Naruto froze when he heard a snort escape Sasuke.

In that moment, it was decided by all the celestial deities in the world that, however the shitty life Sasuke led became, they were going to get him to laugh so hard he snorted again.

As Sasuke finished his mirthful expressions with fading chuckles, he held a suppressed, passionate laugh from exploding again.

He said, "Daddy?"

Naruto's head flipped around so hard he had a feeling that he may have suffered minor effects of whiplash (he should know, it's happened more times to him than he cares to admit publicly).

A lecture ensued, with Sasuke trying to hold in his cute little puppy giggles as Naruto lectured him on never calling him that again.

As if I would listen, Sasuke thought.

And so ensued one of the longest standing jokes in their bro-hood.


	11. Kakashi x Naruto - Modern AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A relationship can't officially start without the first move.

Naruto huffed tiredly, slamming his back against his locker.

Kakashi turned from where he was lazily leaning against the wall to plant his right elbow beside the blonde boy's slumped head.

Naruto looked up and was startled when he felt Kakashi's breath tickle his nose.

Kakashi's dark onyx eye seemed to bore into him, watching him as though he was the only person he could see.

Naruto pouted at the senior student, noticing how much taller the silver haired boy was.

Kakashi's thoughts consisted of the usual, small, problems, like what he was going to cook for dinner later or how long to procrastinate his English assignment (write a short novel, due in two months), but how he didn't want to risk it and would just end up asking Naruto for help with the majority of the story - the blonde was too creative for his own good: it'd be best to channel that creativity into something productive and that didn't involve vandalising, plus, Kakashi was lazy and would definitely procrastinate for the better part of his month.

Kakashi's thoughts strayed to Naruto's golden hair.

How does it stay so voluminous?

How does hair even get that blonde?

I'm ninety percent sure that his hair is secretly giving off actual light.

Kakashi only noticed how close he was when Naruto shifted and he felt the blonde locks brush against his face. He pulled away quickly, seeing Naruto smiling questioningly.

His gaze tried to shift away from the shorter boy, it really did, but it was no use, constantly being pulled back to the vibrant shades of the blonde's blue eyes, dragging itself down his cheeks, tracing the scars that raced towards his ears and jaw, groping towards those soft pink lips that rested in a gorgeous curve.

Kakashi sighed, looking back up to Naruto's eyes as he spoke, "Have you ever just wanted to kiss someone, but you can't?"

Kakashi let his frustration leak into his words, filling them with something akin to fury.

Naruto tilted his head adorably in a confused manner.

"What's stopping you?"

With the cute furrow of his eyebrows becoming apparent, Naruto's puzzled pout became more prominent, leading Kakashi's eye back down.

It was the end of the school day and neither of them had anyone to go home to, nor did they hate each other's company, so Kakashi thought that, just maybe, he could get off the hook this one time - oh, who was he kidding? He was just making up excuses to justify kissing Uzumaki freakin' Naruto. This was Naruto, who even the Uchiha enjoyed the company of, and he was right there for the taking.

Deciding to fuck it and throw all worry out the window to pick up later, Kakashi slipped off the face mask that covered the lower half of his face and gently pressed his lips against Naruto's. Kakashi was almost expecting Naruto to freeze in surprise, but this wasn't a fanfiction and this was, again, Uzumaki freakin' Naruto, one of the most surprisingly observant people he knew and renowned for his unpredictable actions.

Instead of the freeze or the soft return of the kiss that he had been half expecting, he was suddenly thrown off balance by the blonde boy launching himself at the senior student, hopping up on the single foot that remained on the ground (mostly to stop the two from falling over).

Kakashi pulled away in surprise.

Naruto blushed lightly with a small, cheeky grin.

"You look hot behind your mask," he said warmly. "This is now my face." Kakashi's visible eye widened, unsure of what was going on. "No one else is allowed to see this face: it's all mine and mine alone to kiss and coddle and adore."

Kakashi felt a rush of blood crowd into his cheeks as he gave a teary, wobbly smile to his crush, all the previous aloof 'I-don't-care' posture completely dissipated by the beauty of the magnificent person in his arms.

"Okay," the silver haired boy squeaked out, tightening his hold on the walking hotspot in his arms.

"Okay," he repeated as he swooped in for another kiss.


	12. Itachi x Naruto - Akatsuki AU

Naruto sat on the couch, leaning his weight into his right elbow as it pressed into the couch arm. Itachi was half sprawled on top of him, with one leg resting on Naruto's lap and his torso gently pressured against his chest.

Naruto moaned in pleasure as Itachi sucked at his neck, sending goose bumps down the raven's spine. Liking the sound, Itachi found a new place on the blonde's warm shoulder that responded in kind to the nips he gave them. His cool hands slipped under Naruto's shirt, sending shivers traveling up the blonde's arms.

Continuing to find new sensitive places on Naruto's collar, Itachi's hands explored the blonde's stomach, earning soft moans at the gentle touches he sent to the hard skin that guarded the seal of the Kyūbi no Kitsune.

"A-anata[1]~" Naruto mumbled, hands reaching up to tug the sides of Itachi's shirt towards him, effectively slipping it off with the brief loss of contact with the raven's lips.

Once the shirt was off, Itachi dipped his head down to continue leaving his chaotic trail of bruises on the sensitive skin beneath Naruto's chin.

The blonde's tan hands rubbed down a path from Itachi's shoulders, smoothing out over his shoulder blades and massaging the skin of the raven haired teen's back. Itachi melted in the gentle touches that the blonde spilled across his spine, not really noticing the relaxing circles of Naruto's fingers lingering around his hips, inching down his sweatpants

"What the fuck?"

Naruto's hands pause from their finger-deep intrusion into Itachi underwear. Itachi glared coldly from the crook of Naruto's neck.

Hidan, along with his vocabulary of swears, stood in the living room doorway, glancing between the non-existent space that separated his co-workers. He resisted the urge to grin at the porn-worthy pose, simply trying to look at anywhere except the couple that were grinding on the couch, knowing that doing so would lead his eyes to the terrifying red eyes that came with the anger of the two men.

Due to the silence, Hidan eventually gave in to his own curiosity. Instead of slit pupils or the three black tomoe, Hidan was only faced with the bored blue eyes of Naruto as Itachi had continued his trek down the blonde's chest, tugging down the zip that previously closed his shirt to keep his chest away from prying eyes.

Naruto gave Hidan a pointed look, gesturing with his eyes between him and the hallway that was behind the door.

"Fine, fine!" Hidan grumbled, turning away from the unnerving eyes (had Naruto been taking lessons from Itachi?) in order to shuffle back to his room. "I get it, I get it. I'm leaving."

Glancing back, Hidan saw the angry inward curl of Naruto's lips and shouted, "I'm LEAVING."

He babbled incoherently as he paced back down the hallway, making sure to close the door firmly behind him and turn the door's sign (don't ask, long story) to say 'Do Not Disturb'. Deciding to be mean and damn the consequences (in hindsight, he shouldn't have done that), he wrote a quick note and taped it to the door.

Later, Sasori passed the door and was about to ignore the Do Not Disturb sign when he saw the neon pink sticky note (one of Hidan's).

'Seriously, don't disturb them. Weasel and Fishcake are fucking.'

Again, Sasori ignored the sign and walked in, passing by the half naked couple to grab his misplaced limb replacements before leaving again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] Anata (Japanese) - Darling; term of endearment for one's boyfriend/husband.


	13. A Case of the Too-Close Teammates - Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke and Naruto have always had a strange relationship. It just takes a while for Sakura and Kakashi to realise How strange.

Naruto and Sasuke had always been unusually close, especially after the Uchiha Massacre.

Many people only ever saw the two fighting, spiteful of each other, jealous of each other. They pushed each other to the limits of their capabilities and made themselves stronger for the sake of beating the other, to prove themselves the better shinobi.

Sakura was one of the people that only saw the two fighting, mostly due to being their teammate on Team 7.

Kakashi, as their sensei, was slightly biased on this fact, not having known the two as long as Sakura had, only able to guess about them from reports and comments their previous teachers made.

During one training session, Sasuke and Naruto were, rather foolishly, paired together. They could read each other's moves too well and it came down to who could outmanoeuvre the other.

Seeing the spar going nowhere, Kakashi called it a draw just as Naruto and Sasuke were about to lock fists in mid-air. The blonde- and raven-haired teenagers twisted around to face Kakashi with eyes wide in surprise, making them smack into each other and fall to the ground.

Both lay on their backs, panting heavily with their limbs spread around them like stars.

Naruto, having more stamina than Sasuke, was the first of the two to sit up. He gladly accepted the bottle of water from Kakashi, gulping down a third before he managed to stumble his way next to Sasuke, flopping down into a seated position. He hung the mostly-full bottle above the raven haired boy's face, letting him snatch it away and gulp down another third of the water.

Sakura cringed at the casual indirect kiss, not sure whether to point it out or let the her teammates be oblivious. She frowned, annoyed, clenching the bottle of water in her hands that she had been ready to give to her precious Sasuke-kun.

Sasuke pushed himself off of the ground, watching Naruto gracefully bounce himself back up into a standing position. He gladly accepted the tan hand that came his way, pulling himself up slightly less gracefully than the blonde haired boy. While still facing the opposite direction the blonde was, he rested his elbow and, consequently, his whole body weight onto Naruto's shoulder, taking advantage of the fact that the blue eyed boy was currently the shortest person of their age group.

Sakura's frown deepened and her eyes narrowed at the casual display of trust, wondering where all the negative energy that the two held towards each other had gone.

Sasuke patted Naruto's shoulder as he pushed himself off of the younger boy, instantly getting himself balanced. The two briefly shook hands, accepting the draw, before turning to face Kakashi expectedly.

Kakashi was rather confused, unsure of what to make of this new side of the two's relationship he had just been exposed to.

Kakashi cleared his throat and asked two to go and work on something they weren't very confident in so that he could do some more personal training with Sakura.

Both boys had no qualms and headed to opposite sides of the field, though Kakashi did hear Naruto muttering quietly, "Just 'cause Sakura-chan's weaker than us doesn't mean we can't train with her."

Kakashi dismissed the mutterings of his tired student and returned to helping Sakura progress further in her physical capabilities.

Almost five hours and an unnecessary amount of breaks, with practically no work accomplished, later, Kakashi let Sakura call her teammate's for lunch.

The reaction was delayed, with Naruto arriving first, a dark blue shirt and a black t-shirt clutched in his hand while he himself was bare chested. Sasuke followed closely behind, stifling a yawn, with an orange jacket slung over one shoulder and copying Naruto with being shirtless; both arrived sweaty, though neither looked very tired.

Sakura squealed at the sight of Sasuke's chest.

Immediately alert to the reaction from his obsessive fan, Sasuke immediately pulled the bright orange jacket over himself and zipped it up, using the high collar to bury the lower half of his face away in a glare. Unlike the blonde, the baggy orange material actually fit the raven haired boy rather well, not puffing out as much at all the excess cloth. If Naruto was annoyed in any way at the fact that Sasuke was wearing his jacket, he only expressed it with an playful jab at the older boy, earning an elbow from the black eyed boy.

The trio walked over to Kakashi, who offered that they go to a sweet shop as a treat for working so hard that day.

Sasuke grumbled, annoyed, burying himself further into the white collar of Naruto's jacket. Naruto almost immediately refused, declaring in his usual boisterous attitude that ramen was way better than sweet stuff like candy. Sasuke, in his usual quiet brooding mood, stalked off silently, making his way to the Ichiraku Ramen stand, where the best ramen in the Land of Fire (in Naruto's opinion) was, waiting for the four of them to arrive.

Kakashi decided not to comment when Naruto put Sasuke's shirt on instead of the one he normally wore underneath his huge jacket.

The boys walked ahead of the other two, bickering as always, wearing the other's family symbol, and Kakashi couldn't help but notice that Sasuke looked atrocious in orange. It gave him a new appreciation that Naruto somehow managed to almost pull off the ridiculous colour.

Teuchi, the owner and chef of Ichiraku, didn't comment either, as though it was a regular occurrence for the mortal enemies to be wearing the other's clothes.

Three bowls of ramen had already been downed by Naruto by the time Sakura and Kakashi made it to the ramen stand, with Sasuke making smooth progress through his own huge bowl.

Kakashi sighed, knowing that his wallet would be empty by the time Naruto was full.

Kakashi's head of silver hair vanished beneath the flaps of the ramen stand as he went to seat himself to Sasuke's left. Sakura took no time in shoving Naruto to another seat to the right so she could sit next to Sasuke, earning whines of "Sakura-chan~" as Naruto dragged his pile of ramen bowls with him to the next seat over. Sasuke tilted back on his stool and glared at Naruto from behind Sakura's back, earning a raspberry from the younger boy as he turned back to his sixth bowl of ramen.

Kakashi noticed small things that he had never thought to think of about Naruto and Sasuke. It was unusual. Sasuke opened the collar of the jacket, folding it outwards and pushed the sides away from his face. Naruto almost constantly held the high collar of Sasuke's shirt close to his neck, respectfully afraid to stain it with the steaming broth that he had surreptitiously been washing down his throat. Kakashi was positive that, if the blonde twelve year old boy hadn't been trying his best not to stain his rival's shirt, he would have been on his tenth bowl of ramen- okay, never mind, he was now on his eleventh.

Sakura didn't seem to notice the strange behaviour, instead choosing to skip lunch - something about a diet to impress 'her Sasuke-kun' - and gawp in a mess of her own drool as Sasuke sipped on the broth of his ramen, looking at him as though he were the only thing worth seeing on the planet - in her point of view, he probably was. Naruto eagerly slurped away at his ramen, engulfing his head several times with the porcelain, downing his fifteenth bowl before Kakashi even received his first. Sakura twirled her natural pink locks of hair between her fingers, trying to show off to the raven haired boy, who payed no attention to the green eyed girl and did his best to not seem starving as he masterfully handled his chopsticks, slurping ramen with such 'grace' that Sakura swooned in her chair, almost falling off of it hadn't been for Naruto's helpful hand, which she immediately batted away in disgust and annoyance.

Kakashi sighed.

_What am I going to do with these children?_

Having returned back to the training grounds with nearly twenty bowls of ramen under Naruto's belt and Kakashi's almost empty wallet, the silver haired man announced that the three twelve year olds would be doing a small test to see how they had progressed.

Knowing Naruto was about the go off about how he hated tests, Kakashi explained that it was purely physical, focusing on skills instead of knowledge.

Sakura looked worried, knowing that she was likely to fail; she popped right back up, though, when she saw Sasuke glance her way, mistaking the blank look for one of encouragement - one couldn't really tell since Sasuke was, out of all people, an emotionless bastard (Naruto's words, not Kakashi's).

Sasuke and Naruto were encouraged to return to their own clothes (Kakashi really must admit that orange did go well with Sasuke's white shorts, though, just not with Sasuke). Back in his orange jacket and back in his blue shirt, Naruto and Sasuke were practically raring to go, already quarrelling over who would do better . Sasuke shouted from the back of the group to where Naruto had sprinted ahead, eager to reach the artificial training ground for their tests.

First test: survival.

Now thoroughly lost, the three fresh genin were tasked with surviving for five days on their own in the forest that covered the great cliff behind Konoha.

Sasuke leapt off to the trees, leaving Sakura alone as Naruto disappeared between the tree trunks. Feeling rather foolish standing alone in a forest, Sakura shook the locks of well-kept hair out of her face, worried most about how her hair would last without any of its usual special treatments, and without the trip to the hairdresser's planned for the next day.

Two days in and Sakura was lugging her deadweight through the forest, searching for Sasuke, who had left her on the first day. She wept, feeling unwanted by her childhood crush. Her long-standing 'love' for Sasuke strained her forward until she felt her eyes draw close and her limbs give out beneath her.

Green eyes fluttered open as Sakura awoke under boringly familiar trees, laying with her back cushioned by low-growing plants. Turning her head, her groggy eyes spotted Naruto to her left, watching a rabbit intently as he turned it on a makeshift skewer, made from a heavily-carved branch. The rabbit was roasting above a fire, being carefully assessed by the blonde boy for the perfect moment to drag it off the flames. Sasuke landed silently in front of Naruto, having leapt down from the tall trees surrounding them. The raven haired boy seated himself near the warm fire - Sakura suddenly took notice that it was near twilight - and started cutting the raw fish he had arrived with.

Naruto was the first to notice that Sakura was awake, exclaiming her name with the ever-dreaded familial -chan suffix. Sasuke didn't bother to look at her, making her 'humph' in disappointment, wondering where the 'care' from before went.

Naruto's head snapped around to watch the rabbit, cursing as he pulled it away from the fire. Sasuke glared in annoyance at the blonde, calling him out as a thin hammer. Sakura sighed in content, happily absorbing the sound of Sasuke's deep, honey-like voice. Naruto threw back insults in his raspy voice, overused from shouting, receiving a concealed glare from Sakura.

Two days passed and Kakashi learned many things he had never really thought of about his students as he watched them thrive.

Naruto was exceptional, having no trouble and would have been able to last indefinitely in the forest on his own. Sasuke was helpful, though he didn't seem to be as proficient as the blonde, usually just assisting in hunting and the campsites themselves. Sakura, once she was back on her feet, was coaxed into gathering more of the natural resources, like water and fruit, not yet ready to actually kill an animal.

The three worked well together, Kakashi admitted to himself, though they still had a lot of work to do, considering that Sakura would only ever fawn over Sasuke, and Sasuke and Naruto were still constantly butting heads. Sakura, even though she had fainted on the second day from malnutrition, was still rather good at identifying edible plants, supported by her high intellectual score back in the ninja Academy; all that Sakura lacked was experience and the ability to implement her knowledge in real life.

With every contribution, the others were left to do their own things, leading to more discoveries on Kakashi's part.

Naruto had, initially, taken no time to settle in the trees for a nap, climbing without much effort in an exercise that seemed second nature to him. Sasuke started chiding him from the ground, looking up the several feet of air that split the blonde and himself, telling him to help him make a shelter. For a lack of a better phrase, both of them sucked at shelter building; Naruto had only ever really bothered to sleep in the trees and Sasuke never spent a night outside without a tent. In comes Sakura and her book smarts, saving the two boys from further embarrassment as she taught them all she knew about survival, though she herself could not apply her knowledge.

Kakashi felt a smile curve his only visible eye. The team turned out surprisingly well balanced, with the only qualms left being Sakura's unending infatuation with Sasuke, Sasuke's lack of teamwork and Naruto's...well, Naruto was a bit loud and pushed his crush on Sakura a tad too far, but if he gained some patience and Sakura and Sasuke learned to tolerate him a bit better, they would make a powerful team.

A sly spark glinted in Kakashi's eye as he thought of the training potential.


	14. A Case of the Too-Close Teammates - Part II

Sakura panted, exhausted and holding on to the grass for dear life, kneeling on all fours in a sweaty mess. Stamina was not her forte and she could only collapse so many times before Kakashi's training became easier to handle; that would have been the case if Kakashi hadn't started using movement-restricting seals on her, making her have to always work the same amount as the first time she did the exercises every time she did them again.

Sasuke continued punching the strengthened wooden post even as Sakura fell to the ground, her face blocked from view by the flowing pink hair that spiralled around her. Sasuke's knuckles bled as they splintered the damaged wood, reaching out for it for the hundredth and twenty-ninth time that morning. He grimaced at the pain that shot through his arm, cursing his low pain tolerance with every weaker hit that his tired arms lashed out with.

Naruto wasn't too troubled by his exercise itself, having no trouble sticking to the tree branch upside down using chakra, but the focus he used to stick to the tree itself channelled into the focus he had been using to listen to Sakura and Sasuke as they alternatively took turns to continue teaching him what he had willingly missed in the Academy, doing their best to make the studies into fantastical stories to keep his attention on them.

Kakashi leaned against a tree, not too far away from his students. He watched them interact and couldn't help but feel proud as he peeked over the book he was reading to see Sakura and Sasuke taking a break, still talking to Naruto as they munched on their homemade onigiri.

Sakura still glanced up at Sasuke, blushing furiously during the few times that their eyes would meet, and Sasuke was still not entirely comfortable with his teammate's, but in part thanks to Naruto's familial attitude, the three slowly started to become closer.

It was some time before Naruto's chakra started running low and Sasuke called him down for food, knowing that the blonde fool would continue to keep working until he dropped unconscious if no one stopped him soon.

Naruto settled beside his teammates and took half of the onigiri away with him in one bite, charging through the other assortments of food he had made with Sakura for that day's training.

Naruto paused in his attempt to coax Sasuke to give him a rather tasty looking tomato. His eyes traced the barely-concealed figure of his sensei, standing off to the side with an orange book in hand as he had been doing for the whole morning. His eyebrows ruffled slightly and he left his argument over the tomato to go and stand next to Kakashi. Sakura stopped eating in the sudden silence, following Sasuke's line of vision to see Naruto shuffling awkwardly next to their sensei, clutching a bento in his hands.

Kakashi looked down with his only visible eye, glancing past the pages of his novel to see Naruto's gaze glittering towards him.

The blonde cautiously held up the closed bento he had been holding close to himself.

"Here, sensei," Naruto said, smiling timidly. "We made this for you!"

Kakashi's eye widened slightly, noticed by Sasuke, though he couldn't be sure, considering how far away he was. The silver haired man's eye quickly crinkled in a smile, guiding his book away to the weapons' pouch on his hips. He gratefully accepted the bento from his student, earning a heartfelt grin from the short twelve year old.

He felt his pulse skip as he saw the bright smile take over the blonde's face, reminding him so much of the boy's mother's own smile. That smile that had now been plastered onto the boy's face; so much, from his blonde hair to the mesmerising blue eyes and warm skin, had been passed down from Naruto's father. His round face was the same as his mother's had been when she was a child, and his eyes were round like her's. The feature that most differentiated from Naruto's parents was the three whisker marks on both his cheeks, though that might actually have been a side effect from the fox demon that had been sealed within his mother.

Naruto frowned curiously.

"Are you okay, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi's thoughts sank back to reality and his eyes refocused on the concerned child in front of him.

His visible eye closed in a smile. He let out sheepish chuckles and told Naruto that he was fine, that he had just been spacing out a little from lack of sleep.

Naruto looked unconvinced and was about to shout out his thoughts to his teacher when he felt a stare drilling itself into his head. Twisting his torso, Naruto was able to see Sakura glaring pointedly at him, knowing, even though all three teenagers were unconvinced and curious, that they should just drop the subject. Naruto huffed in annoyance, but still complied with his teammate's wishes.

He looked back to Kakashi with another nostalgia-inducing grin, inviting the older man to join them for lunch.

Kakashi looked at his students with soft eyes and followed the orange swirl on the back of Naruto's baggy jacket, reminiscing about the family symbol that the blonde boy didn't know the history of.


	15. Itachi x Naruto - First Date

Naruto shifted uncomfortably in front of the front door of Itachi's house.

_What if he's having second thoughts?_

His slowly declining mood made his shuffle side to side, clutching tighter at the gift he hid behind his back.

Naruto's head shot up as the door opened and he was left with a gaping mouth as he wondered whether Uchiha naturally sparkled or if it was a thing that only Sasuke and Itachi did.

Itachi felt a small flush of his face as he saw the blonde gaping at him and he quickly raised a fist to clear his throat, looking away from Naruto's casually attractive appearance.

Naruto snapped back to reality as he heard the raven clear his throat. He pulled out his gift from behind his back, shoving it into Itachi's face with both hands and a bright blush.

Itachi could practically feel his mind stuttering as he saw the array of flowers that were all but thrown into his face. His hands slowly came up to relieve Naruto's arms of the light burden so that they could pull themselves to the blonde's chest in a nervous gesture.

Naruto only glanced up to see if his original thought of Itachi resigning in disgust would prove true, only to fix his eyes on his date as he gently buried his face in the bouquet with a noticeable blush and awkward demeanour.

Naruto giggled quietly at Itachi, watching the black eyes meet his with a weak glare and furiously blushing face.

"W-what?"

Naruto giggled stronger at the stuttering of the usually composed individual in front of him.

"If you're going to react like this every time I get you flowers, I think it would be a good investment to get a subscription at the Yamanaka's flower shop," he said, pausing to think for a moment. "I wonder if Ino would be willing to give me a discount."

Itachi's blush deepened as he buried his face into the bouquet and whispered for the flower's ears, "That would be nice."

Naruto's mood was vivacious for the rest of the night and several people stopped to watch the couple pass, wondering about the flowers held close to Itachi's chest. One notable pair watched the two as they entered Ichiraku Ramen.

Sakura huffed as she glared through the binoculars at the fleeting backs of the couple.

"Well," Sasuke said smugly, "looks like you owe me a hundred yen, Sakura."

"Ugh!" Sakura growled, throwing up her arms and losing the binoculars as they flew away to a better place. "Damn it, Naruto! Why did you have to be the one to get him flowers?!"

Sasuke snickered the rest of the night, watching through his own binoculars as the waiter attempted to flirt with Naruto and be thoroughly terrified as Itachi's Mangekyō Sharingan activated, running off without taking their orders and leaving a random, more wary, waiter to look after their table for the rest of the night.


	16. He Always Comes Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Immortality was hard enough to tackle without the constant threat of war and his own stupidity, so it was nice to have someone as equally intolerant to death as him.

The world was alight with life.

A new village had been formed, one that was born from the new alliance of the Uchiha and Senju Clans. They called it Konohagakure.

Naruto smiled warmly at the sights of the village. It wasn't much yet, but the people were genuine as they expressed joyful emotions and kindness, and that was enough after the times of strife they'd followed.

Uchiha Madara caught Naruto's eye.

He was listening to Senju Hashirama, the first leader of this new village and Senju clan head, talk animatedly.

Naruto walked up to the pair and called for the Uchiha's attention, making both veteran shinobi turn their heads to face the blonde.

Naruto smiled cheekily as they introduced themselves to one another.

Madara inquired about the sudden appearance of Naruto.

"Heck if I know. I guess you just looked like a chill person to talk to."

Hashirama nodded, leaving to tell his younger brother that, indeed, he was right that Madara was actually capable of attracting friends.

* * *

Naruto grabbed Madara's arm and he yelled as Naruto was engulfed in golden flames and swiftly left the ground, pulling Madara up with him. Madara clung tightly to the blonde, not entirely trusting himself to catch himself if he were to fall. Naruto laughed giddily and held Madara closer.

* * *

Naruto watched with blank eyes as the blade went cleanly through Madara's chest, but refused to look away. He watched from the shadows as Hashirama carried Madara's corpse back to the village, but made no move to stop him.

Madara would be back.

He always came back.

* * *

As foretold, the power of Madara's eyes brought him back to life.

Madara went into hiding and Naruto became completely passive to the world as he watched Madara age. It started with a few white hairs and an inability to fight as well as he used to, which soon developed into a critical state wherein Madara was grasping to life by attaching himself to the old husk of the most powerful creature ever seen in the Five Great Nations.

It was around the time that Madara was almost dead that Naruto found a young boy, Uchiha Obito, in a near death state, the entire right side of his body crushed by boulders and everything else covered by several feet of stone.

Madara took in the boy and corrupted him.

Naruto frowned at the act, knowing full well that intervention would change too much for him to predict the likely future occurrences, making the future tactically more of a failure.

Madara did eventually die again when he disconnected himself from the ancient husk.

But he knew that Madara would be back. He always came back.

And he did.

This time, Naruto was fighting on the opposing side of the war and it only pained him more when it was clear that Madara had no recollection of them. That was the point - Naruto came in and out of his life to scope him out, not to make a lasting impression.

It was the most brutal emotional battle they had ever faced. Bloodshed, tears, injustice. Super healing, super strength, beasts older than Naruto, and the leaders of the world.

Naruto looked on as Hashirama claimed goodbye to Madara, this time for actuality.

Madara turned his head towards Naruto and gave a broken smile as he mouthed the words, only for Naruto to know:

"Thank you, Naruto."

Naruto placed his only arm against the side of Madara's grave, his little secret away from his allies, a smile with long-dried tear tracks stretching his cheeks painfully.

"Good night, Madara."

He never came back.


	17. Of Holding Hands and Old Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto's cheesy, and Kakashi happens to be the best brand of crackers on the market.

"Thanks again for helping out," said Ino, smiling sweetly.

Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his head out of habit.

"No problem!" Naruto said, turning around to skip out the door, waving adieu to Ino. "See ya!"

"Bye!"

Naruto locked his fingers and stretched his arms, feeling the sun warm his skin after exiting the too-air-conditioned flower shop, earning happy pops from his spine.

He relaxed as he began glancing around the street for his next interesting activity.

As though from the plan of fate itself, Kakashi popped out of a book store, apparently having returned a book, judging by the 'literature' with him.

Naruto grinned and began jogging to catch up with the older shinobi, hollering, "Yo, Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi blinked, stopped walking, and turned to see Naruto gaining ground on him, his left arm raised up in the air in greeting.

"Yo."

Naruto slowed down as he reached Kakashi, miffed at the half-hearted greeting.

Kakashi began walking again and Naruto was comfortable with the silence that quickly surrounded them. They were going to nowhere in particular, enjoying the sliver of peace their world of war.

Naruto glanced at the taller man and spoke up for the first time in their past half hour of roaming, pointing confusedly at where he had his hands tucked away in his pockets.

"Kakashi, what's that in your hand?"

Kakashi shot him a confused look, taking his hands out of their snug pockets.

"There's noth-"

Kakashi felt a startled shiver across his body as Naruto suddenly grabbed his hand, holding it tenderly as he smiled at the taller man, making him feel al,ost blessed at the sudden radiance that burst before him.

"Never mind. It was just my hand."

Kakashi's face heated up and he resisted the urge to hug the shorter boy, but he eventually gave in, not really being able to find a good argument against it.

Naruto happily blushed as Kakashi reached around hi, wrapping his arms around his waist and holding them close, burying his face in Naruto's hair.

Naruto smiled into Kakashi's chest, returning the affectionate gesture.

Kakashi closed his eyes contently, resting his chin in Naruto's soft hair.

He hummed in curiosity as Naruto giggled.

"Since I made the first move, does that make you the Uke?"

Kakashi walked away. A relationship would be too much work anyway.

"Kakashi– wait! You didn't even let me use the pun about cheese and crackers! Come back!"


	18. Sasuke x Naruto - The Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring Sakura.

Sasuke's eye twitched with annoyance as he heard the doorbell ring quieter than Sakura's violent assault on his front door.

Tearing his eyes away from the heavenly view before him, he dragged himself to greet her, lugging open the door only semi-unenthusiastically, letting Sakura glomp him far more enthusiastically than he thought the occasion warranted.

"So~ what did you need to talk about?" said Sakura, pulling away at last as she started heading towards his living room.

Sasuke shook his head and pointed towards the door that lead to the patio with a sigh, "We'll be heading outside for today."

This sparked a vengeful curiosity in Sakura that Sasuke was already regretting igniting.

Their 'meetings' usually consisted of about an hour or so of talking from Sakura, the requester of the usual meet ups. Since Sasuke had actually taken the initiative to call HER and request that SHE come over, she was more than happy to bounce after her ex childhood crush and now-friend outside to the untameable garden he had refused to have renovated since it'd fallen into disrepair after his family's deaths.

She never understood why he kept it until she saw it through the patio's glass doors and the sight made her jump forward and launch open the doors to stare wide eyed at the splendour that had been cultivated from the mess behind Sasuke's mansion.

She gawked at the sight. The overgrown bushes and foreign trees had been somewhat tamed, made more natural and less crooked and menacing. They gave off a soft look that continued down the towering trunks, becoming hidden by the rainbow of plants that presented itself in the undergrowth.

"It's gorgeous," she breathed. "It's changed so much."

Sasuke vaulted over the patio fence, smirking back up at Sakura.

"Leave your shoes. I don't need you tracking gravel out here."

Glancing at Sasuke's discarded shoes, Sakura threw her's towards the door and practically fell over the fence in excitement, jogging to catch up to where Sasuke was almost completely hidden in the brushwood.

Grabbing the sleeve of his left arm, she watched as they rounded the corner and her breath hitched again.

Sasuke had always had a flurry of gardeners, trying to return the garden to its former glory, but this new employee, this steaming junk of a man, hadn't just returned the garden to its former glory – he had become one with it.

Working in the soil with tree saplings was a dashing young man with a lithe body. His only visible article of clothing was a pair of cargo pants and gloves, leaving him to lean on his knees, barefooted, as he carefully doted on the plant with calloused hands carefully wrapped in thick, brown, specialised gloves.

Sakura gawked at the hot gardener; the rest of the miraculous garden forgotten in the godly sight. Godly indeed, since there seemed to a halo around the tan man's head because of his blonde hair.

Oh, his hair!

It had a marvellously messy style, golden and perfect mix of soft and mussed.

Sakura roughly grabbed Sasuke shoulder, speaking in the most serious tone he had heard from her since the time that she had placed a bet that she could lift more than the local heavyweight champion of the neighbourhood, "Your gardener is really fucking hot, Sasuke."

Sasuke's smirk became larger at his childhood friend's observation, raising an eyebrow as he spoke, "Why do you think I hired him? A bonus is that he's managed to turn this dump into something worthy of the estate."

Sasuke led Sakura to a bench that was cosily nestled among a colourful bush, leaving without a word, though she presumed it was for sandwiches, or something of the sort.

Sakura smiled and played with a vibrant blue flower that leaned onto the bench.

She jumped as she heard a voice call out to 'the pink-haired girl', almost making her rip the flower straight off its stem.

"You can keep it if you'd like."

Sakura looked towards the speaker, finding Sasuke's new hot gardener leaning against a tree, fiddling with his gloves in a nervous gesture that wasn't betrayed by the rest of him.

Sakura looked back at the flower and decided against her initial thoughts.

"I don't want to ruin your work. Blue isn't really my colour, anyway."

She looked back to see the blond-haired man smiling warmly at her, whatever had been so interesting about his gloves apparently resolved.

He shook his head and thought to himself, "No, blue really isn't your colour. I wonder..."

He began wandering off as Sasuke returned with a big Tupperware box of sandwiches.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Sakura.

"Did you manage to scare him away already? Usually it takes until you at least until you start bench pressing twice their body weight for your male dates to run off."

Sakura shrugged, not sure herself.

"Here we go!"

The hoarse voice ran through the garden, quickly followed by Sasuke's grinning gardener. He had handfuls of fully bloomed red roses in his arms, all picked in what seemed like seconds.

He ran up to Sakura and held out his arms the best he could without dropping any of the crimson flowers.

"These should definitely work, right?"

Sakura beamed and nodded, glancing at Sasuke's resting bitch face as his gardener began carefully arranging the thick blooms in her hair, pinning them up in the fastest braids she had ever seen.

The flowers rested around her left temple, tucking away her hair behind her ear.

Sasuke felt a little jealousy burn through him as he watched his gardener begin to braid Sakura's long hair with roses.

"There, perfect!" the blond said, smiling like the sun at Sakura. "Beautiful like the queen you are."

Sakura didn't call out Sasuke's muttering, "If she breathes, she's a thot."

He was apparently very skilled in the elusive art of braiding short hair, because he had managed to pull Sakura's hair up into a bun, thinner braids interlocking with smaller white flowers that had appeared from another nearby bush.

Sakura began talking again, almost a little bit sheepish, "I'm sorry, I haven't even introduced myself! My name's Sakura."

The blonde grinned at her, speaking with unwarranted enthusiasm.

"Uzumaki Naruto, at your service! Literally, if you know what I mean." The playful wink that Naruto sent Sakura did nothing to quell the rage boiling over Sasuke, the only thing stopping an outburst being the fact he knew that Sakura had a girlfriend, though it wouldn't help if Naruto made them break up.

Sasuke froze when Naruto turned to look at him, a playful stare playing at his warm blue eyes.

"Would you like flowers too?"

Sasuke glanced at Sakura, who was trying in vain to conceal her fit of giggled.

He folded his arms and sighed, "Nothing purple."

Naruto smirked and ran off towards a spruce tree, disappearing again as Sasuke sat down.

Sakura smiled coyly at Sasuke, turning her body towards him.

"Look at you, Mr. Uchiha, I thought you were just going to say no! Does this mean you really like him~?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at his best friend's antics, huffing in annoyance, "Of course not. He's just cute."

Naruto came prancing back from the foliage with an armful of white and pink flowers, which all had rather pastel, though not muted, colours.

Sasuke's resting bitch face amazingly didn't scare off Naruto who stood in front of him expectantly, making him drop his arms and turn around, unlike what Sakura had to do; her hair was long enough to be done from the front, and he internally growled at the injustice that she got to watch Naruto's chest, but he didn't.

Should I grow my hair out?

Nah.

Sasuke could feel Naruto's gloveless hands glide through his hair, playing with the unusually soft locks.

"I like your hair."

Sasuke shifted at the complement.

Feeling the intimate air between the two, Sakura began inching away, doing her best not to disturb the scene. Within a few minutes, she had slipped away, out of the garden, and left a note in the kitchen on her way out (it wouldn't stop Sasuke being mad that she stole a sandwich, but she'd take her chances).

As Sakura disappeared, Naruto relaxed properly and dragged his hands from the roots of Sasuke's hair, combing out all the flowers, making the Uchiha pout.

"I guess she approves."

Sasuke turned around, looking up at Naruto's taller figure as he laced his hands behind his warm back.

Naruto pulled Sasuke closer, burying his face in the blue cloth of his shirt, and Sasuke brought his hands up, using his thumbs to caress Naruto's collar, pushing him away by the jaw before pulling him back in for a kiss.

"Ne, would you two get a room?"

"GO AWAY, KAKASHI!"


	19. Of Loving Enemies - Kakashi x Obito

Obito sat brooding in the main hall, exasperated and rather annoyed at his archenemy.

Every person he'd sent had come back in failure, or not at all. Every woman said that his enemy just couldn't be seduced, but at the point he was at, seduction was the best course of action, so he kept trying.

Fighting wouldn't be an option, since his lord had forbidden that he openly attack someone as strong as the Hatake.

Once more, another woman had returned. She was stuttering in every word, terrified for her life, but Obito got the usual gist of it. She had failed as well.

This was going nowhere and Obito knew that he'd have to start deploying evasive manoeuvres.

Apparently, fate had a different plan.

Just a day after the last failed attempt, Obito was in his office, lazily glancing at scrolls of possible candidates for the mission. This was normal, but his peace was interrupted very soon after he'd opened a scroll for women with K to O first names.

A horrible sound greeted Obito's ears, almost like his own bones breaking, or resetting a dislocated limb.

Obito gripped his ears and scrambled off his chair, stumbling to the floor scratching at his ears.

The guards around the base hadn't sensed the familiar chakra signature.

Before Obito could recover from the horrid sound, firm hands clasped themselves to his shoulders, pushing him up and back against the wall.

There was a faint thud as Obito was pressed against the wall, panic flickered across his face, and bloody red spilling into the once onyx right eye.

No time passed, no processing of the situation was done before Obito felt something warm press against his lips.

There, in front of him, was Hatake Kakashi, the only personal vendetta he had left to resolve. And they were kissing. Kakashi had broken into Obito's hideout, restricted his movement and was now doing the one thing Kakashi would have been the least likely to do.

Take off his face mask. Just to kiss someone, no less.

To kiss his enemy.

Obito wanted to struggle, he really did, but there was something about the way Kakashi held him - he was desired. Obito felt his eye droop.

Something wet suddenly brushed against his lips and he thought, why not? After all, he could always wipe Kakashi's memory afterwards.

Obito's mouth opened and Kakashi gladly entered. One thought ran through his mind.

Why didn't I try this before?

Obito stifled a moan as he felt Kakashi's tongue explore his mouth. Obito retaliated with his own tongue, shoving Kakashi back out.

Kakashi made space between himself and Obito, looking down to the dazed eye of his old friend.

Obito's eye had instinctually turned a bloody red again, and Kakashi knew that the Sharingan would memorise everything that was happening, as was one of its abilities.

Obito felt Kakashi's grip loosens on his wrists and he slid his hands out. Just realising what he'd done, Obito just stubbornly laid his forehead against Kakashi's chest, wrapping his arms around the other's waist. Kakashi contently lay his chin on the crown of Obito's head, returning the gentle embrace.

Obito looked back up at Kakashi, a growing blush patterned across the human part of his face.

Kakashi smugness turned to surprise as Obito shoved Kakashi away to arm's length. With one hand holding Kakashi's shoulder firmly, Obito turned away from the confused look on Kakashi's face, the other hand covering his face to hide the embarrassing nose bleed.

Personally, Obito had always found Kakashi adorable, and that was with the mask. You can understand his predicament.

Squeal or kiss?

Kakashi seemed to be bored of waiting for Obito to take care of his problem and grabbed the other man's hips.

Obito's right eye widened as Kakashi flipped him around to face him.

Kakashi glanced down from below the shadow of his lashes at the blood that had spilled across Obito's face, his nose twitching at the metallic smell. Obito raised his hand to wipe away the blood, smearing it across the unnatural side of his face.

Kakashi leaned in to kiss Obito's cheeks, staining his lips with the blood. Obito felt his blush darken at the warmth of Kakashi's lips on his skin, feeling the goose bumps cross his spine as Kakashi got closer to his mouth again.

As trained as they were, the two shinobi didn't realise someone had opened the door.

Sakura peeped out from behind the door, looking inside the room with curious eyes.

She raised her camera to sneak very photos of the pair. Still the two didn't notice as Sakura left them alone again.

She laughed giddily as she flipped through the few pictures she got; blackmail was always something she was good at, but these would certainly sell for a hefty price, especially since a lot of people wanted to know what Kakashi's face looked like.

At the thought of her profits, she practically drooled, paying no mind to the freshly painted walls around her, splattered with the 'blood' of those murdered only minutes ago. The rooms were almost completely white now; the only people actually in the hideout had been an army of white Zetsu clones, and a tall woman that Naruto had whisked away like a princess.

Sakura didn't look back as she walked straight out of the hideout, greeted by the blood of the only actually humans guarding the area on the threshold, then the sunny day beyond.


	20. A Grief We Can't Leave Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bringing Sasuke back to Konoha was only first step to his recovery. Afterwards, support network would have to be enough.

For all he had tried, he had failed and one of his students was rogue, for real this time. This had been so close to happening less than half a decade ago, when his students were unaware of the world and bickered amongst themselves, wreaking chaos across their village. Friendship won out in the end, his youngest student quite literally dragging his teammate home.

He had no clue why his student had gone rogue again now, he had the strangest feeling that it was being purposefully hidden, but, ever since, his kunoichi student had never stopped in her search for her traitorous crush. Her innocent childhood butterflies had settled as they grew older, but the betrayal to the village seemed to snap something in her. Obsession for the boy of her childhood made her chase after the missing man fruitlessly.

The Hokage tried to put a stop to it, but even he had once favoured his kunoichi teammate and his soft heart won out as he allowed her to expend resources to find the lost third of their friendship.

The Kage obviously knew exactly why his teammate had left their home, choosing not to disclose it with most anyone his sensei knew.

Sighing at the thoughts, Kakashi looked back up to his rogue student, who stood only feet away at the opposite side of the valley.

Sakura stared in horror at her obsession, the lovestruck kunoichi gone at the pressing truth. She felt the electricity that lingered in the air after her crush had tried to kill her.

Kill her.

He didn't care.

He never cared.

He expressed that perfectly to her and she finally took the time to look.

Something Kakashi said sent her former teammate into hysterics and she shook as she witnessed the crazed laugh of the madman she had thought she loved.

His eyes levelled back from where he had flung his head back and he glared at his old sensei.

"Itachi..." he muttered. "My father...my mother." He continued stronger. "My entire clan! Bring them all back! Do that and I'll stop right now!-"

"SASUKE, PLEASE!"

Both shinobi snapped their heads towards their pink-haired kunoichi teammate. Expecting gross sobbing, the rogue shinobi was at a loss as the intense eyes of the childish girl he had once ignored backed him to a corner.

Where had the naïve child of his younger years gone?

This woman was not the girl he remembered, not even the obsessive culprit of his last few months of being rogue.

She wasn't new, but she had changed - or maybe she had stopped letting her childishness rule her. The truth was out in the open as she reached towards her lost teammates and tugged at the sleeves of the dumbfounded shinobi.

"That's enough," she said quietly, but with more strength than Sasuke thought he had it in him to resist. "It's time to go home."

The meekness in her own childhood seemed to come through for a while, but Sasuke couldn't seem to think independently for a long while before Kakashi knocked him out.

* * *

Sasuke was too old for all of this.

He stood in front of the Rokudaime Hokage's desk, before his youngest teammate, silently refusing to state his mission report, or to even move.

"Sasuke, what's on your mind?"

And he finally broke down. He found himself on his knees, on the floor, his head buried in his Kage's lap as he yelled his heart out.

Sobs escaped him and his teammate only gently wrung his hands through his hair, listening to his voice-breaking cries.

The Rokudaime's friend, his pet, his assistant, crooned gently at the tired Uchiha, settling down beside his head to gently nudge his calming head with a soft nudge.

Sasuke turned his head to look at the crow.

"Hey, Itachi," he muttered, still not comfortable with the name that hit too close to home. "Guess what, it's my twenty-second birthday today...my brother died when he was twenty-one."

Sasuke took a shaky breath.

"He was perfect in everyone's eyes, even in mine. I always wanted to be like him...but in one day I became older than my older brother...and older still today..."

Sasuke suddenly stood and apologised quietly for the time he had taken, leaving without any more words to the pair behind him.

His Hokage didn't follow him.

The feathers of the crow began changing as the man left. The experience looked almost painful, but the Rokudaime was unfazed as a dead man sat upon his lap where the bird had once perched.

They held each other close and the Hokage muttered quietly to his partner.

"Will you ever tell him that you live?"

Itachi huffed and hid himself in his partner's warmth.

"Never. I am sad for his grief of me, but I will never regret not revealing myself to the world. Once again, thank you for all you have done for us, Naruto-kun, but I can't."

The Rokudaime hummed in understanding and looked out upon his village.

"I'm just glad we're all home."


	21. Don't Leave Me (like the rest of them) - Itachi x Naruto

Naruto hated the position they were in. The space between them seemed like a great divide, even if they were only on opposite sides of the bed.

Itachi's back was turned to him.

He didn't know what he had done, but Itachi didn't even talk to him anymore and he was terrified.

Maybe Itachi would leave him. Like everyone else.

Naruto didn't want this anymore. It had been a week.

Isn't that enough time to just admit he's leaving me?

Tentatively, he reached out.

Itachi didn't seem to react initially, but, as Naruto gently rubbed his shoulder, he shifted to lay his back.

He didn't open his eyes fully, only enough so that he could see Naruto.

Worried blue eyes were watery with childish tears and he was breathing shakily through his mouth. Naruto looked helpless.

Naruto's heart jumped as Itachi turned towards him and reached out, pulling himself closer. Itachi held the hands that reached out to him and Naruto beamed, trying to hide his sniffling from his previous tears.

Naruto closed the space between them, wrapping his free arm around Itachi, who, in turn, clutched protectively at Naruto's shirt.

"I'm sorry," Itachi whispered. He never realised how much his actions (or lack of) affected Naruto, but could, as always with Naruto, he noticed his behaviour only as Naruto reached a boiling over point. "I'm sorry I keep hurting you."

Naruto's arm tightened around him. Their breaths warmed each other as they came closer. He didn't trust himself to reply so he pressed a kiss to the chaos lines on Itachi's face.

The trust Itachi had in him to kiss his face was enough to make Naruto happy - people with dōjutsu were very protective of their faces for obvious reasons - but Itachi wasn't happy with just trust. He wanted to show he cared, no matter how foreign the expression was to him.

Itachi still clutched lightly at Naruto's shirt, but he held him closer. Securely. Naruto happily reciprocated with an embrace, engulfing Itachi's barely smaller stature in warmth.

Not really sure who was actually benefiting from the hug more, Itachi sighed contently and smiled as he curled into Naruto's chest.

Even if he wasn't used to displaying and receiving affection, he was more than happy to get used to it, he decided. Everything Naruto did was warm and he couldn't think himself luckier than when Naruto was with him.


	22. Love Amongst Shinobi

When he was four years old, he'd been considered a prodigy. He was one in a million, a once in a generation genius. He thought like a Kage. He was already beginning to fight on par with some of the village's recent shinobi.

The world was in war since he was young. His father took him to a battlefield not even a year before.

War.

He couldn't stand it.

Fiddling with the necklace between his fingers, he frowned and looked to the stars.

He remembered the couples he saw everywhere in the village. Civilians, shinobi, his own parents. They supported each other and changed together. They would either be eternal or never go far enough. And he saw the way shinobi reacted to loss.

One thing that he knew, without a doubt, was that he would never pursue something romantic with anyone in the village. There would never be anyone by him to get hurt.

On the outskirts of his clan compound, he stopped to look at the stars as he had done when he was younger. This time, he made a vow to the heavens.

He would never fall in love.


	23. The Sun Is Also A Star

**A star is born every time someone makes a wish.**

**This is the story of a star who was born to a wish of revenge.**

Uzumaki Naruto was tired. He stood alone in the early rain, staring down at his unconscious teammate sprawled out in front of his legs.

A quiet breath left him as his lips fell.

Taking a deep breath to calm his strained gasps, he choked on the blood that rose to his throat.

Ignoring the pain that seared through his chest after the adrenaline wore itself away, he stepped forward and crouched down, forcing his left arm beneath his older teammate's back. His other injured arm hooked under his teammate's knees.

Another strained breath sent a violent cough to rack his body and he leaned over his teammate as red spluttered from his lips, letting the blood get hacked out into the water. Painful, but it cleared his throat enough for him to gather some semblance of energy and hoist up his teammate in his arms.

Small ripples flooded outwards and around him as he rose, feet sinking into the unhappy banks of the once-small stream that now drowned his bare ankles and had soaked through his clothes.

Water clung to him obsessively, weighing down his hair and uncomfortably creasing his thick clothes over him, doing nothing to erase the crimson blossoming under his paling skin.

Cold feet trudged through the rising river, sifting past the pebbled banks to the slick stone that created the sheer cliff walls of the shrouded valley.

Vision clouded with darkness, blood and fatigue, he didn't remember how he ventured up the steep grey surface.

Ears ringing, he only heard the growling whispering leading him to the dense forest.

Fingers numb, he only registered the pain when he saw the ripped shoulder of his jacket.

Tasting copper, he couldn't spit away the familiar flavour without choking first.

There was no relief in his bones as he reached the painted gates of the village.

Bright hair identified who ran to him, burning his eyes as inaudible words spilled from his other teammate's mouth, biting at his perseverance and indifference.

A great load was stolen from his unfeeling shoulder as the weight of his teammate was transferred to another, taken away for unneeded treatment.

Stinging spread across his face from an avoidable blindness by emotion. It mingled with the aching of the rest of himself, inflicting no more agony than the lightning that sizzled at his fingertips and the fire the burned his lungs.

Vivid eyes tried to tear into him violently before shooting away.

Mismatched eyes sent him a look that had become too familiar from his other teachers.

Shepherding gates closed before him. He did not remember what side of those gates he fell upon, only that he fell back, looking up to the glaring sun that tried to take a peak through the breaking clouds at the village, and lifted an arm to the star in the sky.

An intentional twitch corrected his dilated right pupil before the heavy arm he had raised to greet the sun fell from its perch and came to rest upon his chest.

The fist-sized hole in his chest had closed with burning chakra but still bled uncomfortably at the flesh wounds that remained, and lay him in a bed of rubies. Both his hands went to his chest and preformed the little they could to help his state, applying pressure to the wound that had destroyed his left lung.

Eyes closed to the world, the orange glare that bled through his eyelids set a small, genuine smile on his face.

He didn't expect anyone to come to him until Tsunade heard of the return, so he took a deep breath, relaxed and took the time to enjoy the rising sun as he waited.


	24. Uzumaki Naruto Was Simple

Jiraiya truly believed that he understood Naruto. Naruto was a thirteen year old, blonde, hyperactive shinobi who was stubborn to the point of self-harm and would never give up.

When Jiraiya asked Naruto to come along with him to find Tsunade to appoint her as the Godaime Hokage, he didn't expect Naruto to have a condition, or for that condition to be that, before they left, Naruto be given time to take Jiraiya to what was formerly known as the Forest of Death.

Walking up to the towering trees that were both more terrifying and friendly than they were many decades ago when Jiraiya had last seen them, Jiraiya saw that the signs that had once proclaimed that the Forty-fourth Training Ground was dangerous had increased tenfold and that it hadn't been known as the Forest of Death for a while judging by the chūnin by the main entrance with uniforms proclaiming their jobs working at one of the forest entrances.

"Oh, hey, Naruto-san! It's so good to see you!" one of the Chūnin greeted Naruto in the most friendly manner Jiraiya had seen from outside of Naruto's bubble of precious people (or even some inside. His pink haired teammate was bound to get on a lot of people's bad sides in future).

"Yare, yare!" another Shinobi interrupted, bouncing with too much joy. "Are you here to finally relieve us of our duty?!"

Naruto frowned almost disappointedly ( _but he couldn't be_ _disappointed_ , Jiraiya assured himself, _Naruto was going to travel for over a month with a Legend_ ).

"Sorry, guys, but Ero-sensei's taking me with him to get the next Hokage, so you've gotta hold down the fort for a little longer," Naruto apologised, almost uncharacteristically upset considering how happy Jiraiya had presumed he'd be to get more training on the trip.

"It ain't that bad, brat!"

All Jiraiya got for that comment was an immature raspberry from Naruto.

The once-excited shinobi deflated and fell to the floor yelling, "INJUSTICE!"

Another Chūnin pointed accusingly at Jiraiya, hissing, "Evil! You just want us to suffer!"

A beautiful kunoichi among the group was also irate and Jiraiya found himself wondering how he could get a woman so angry with him without somehow violating her.

"C'mon, guys," Naruto scolded. "It isn't that bad!"

The kunoichi huffed indignantly, yelling, "Yeah, it IS! One of them tried to molest me!"

Naruto blinked then went into a thinking pose.

"That's weird...the only one of them to ever get molest-y liked men...or maybe just Uchiha prodigies..."

Naruto's mutterings made Jiraiya freeze and he was glad none of the Chūnin had heard him. Uchiha prodigies? There weren't many despite the clan's supposed awesomeness, but the first that came to mind for Jiraiya was Uchiha Itachi. Could Naruto have once known the Clan Killer himself? Yet Naruto seemed not to be phased at the thought of the Uchiha prodigy he spoke of... It certainly wasn't Sasuke considering the lack of animosity and the fact that Sasuke wasn't anything near a prodigy.

On another topic: "Why would they only like men? And who's 'they'?"

"Mm?" Naruto broke out of his musings. "Oh, 'they' are the plants inside the Chakra Gardens! They've been feeding on chakra practically all their lives, so they're kind of sentient? Apparently one has taken a liking to Kagura-san." Naruto grinned and gave the kunoichi a thumbs up. "Good job, Kagura-obasan!"

"I'M NOT EVEN THIRTY, BRAT."

The few feet between the front of the chūnin watching the entrance of the 'Chakra Gardens' and inside the gate was an entire fiasco, including another complaint of inappropriate wildlife, Naruto getting several shinobi ticked off with nicknames and Jiraiya totally not trying to sneak peaks at one kunoichi's breasts. In fact, Jiraiya tried to sneak peaks at multiple kunoichi (every attempt ended in failure), so 'HA' to sarcasm!

Jiraiya was going to speak up about the unusual treatment the chūnin gave Naruto, but then he stepped into the Chakra Gardens. And suddenly he understood what Naruto meant when the plants in the training ground had been fed with chakra their entire lives. Jiraiya wasn't the best sensor outside of specific combat abilities, but he could feel the very air itself saturated with chakra, as though if someone set off a jutsu, it would be so unstable that it would either engulf the entire area or would hardly work like desired and just fail. Hopefully fail.

If the air was so heavy with chakra, Jiraiya wondered how much was in the plants — different thought: he wanted to know who fed these plants, because most of the chakra in the Gardens felt like they were of the same person, a very familiar but hard-to=place person due to the mingling of smaller portions of different chakra, including many familiar signatures, and Jiraiya quickly took care to try and remember them all. He might be able to identify them when he was around those people again.

Jiraiya stopped his musings to finally ask Naruto the question that had first crossed his mind, but was quickly silenced again as he found himself lost.

"Huh?"

He hadn't travelled that far, right? And Naruto was nowhere he could find. How could he lose a bright orange wearing, blonde haired jinchūriki that was louder than than the Uchiha ego?

Panicking, not that he'd ever admit, Jiraiya quickly called out for Naruto.

"Hey, BRAT!"

"WHAT?!"

Jiraiya most definitely did not scream when he found that he'd almost walked into Naruto. One hundred percent didn't scream and scramble back multiple feet, shrieking in terror as Naruto didn't try to hide his amusement. Totally didn't. But Jiraiya did notice the look that crossed Naruto's eyes as Jiraiya DID NOT scream. It was a look that Jiraiya recognised too well, that he'd seen on his late sensei, on his old teammates, even himself. It was a look many shinobi never had because shinobi died so young or were forced to focus on the future because of their duty.

But Naruto's smile, the light in his eyes and the faraway look he adopted - he was reminiscing of times so long passed they could only be remembered as feelings; maybe not fondness, but some sort of cruel nostalgia.

The pained look that flickered across Naruto's face went almost unnoticed, but wasn't forgotten when Jiraiya shouted back as Naruto burst out laughing that Jiraiya had been scared by Naruto. Which he _hadn't_!

Setting aside many questions, Jiraiya settled on the new one he'd gotten when Naruto had _not_ scared him.

"Hey, brat, did you know that you and your chakra are practically invisible in this forest?"

The Look crossed Naruto's face again, yet somehow more tired and unforgiving, like there was a different but somehow equally substantial secondary pain behind the memories.

"Really?! That's so cool, I could totally get the jump on you any time I wanted!"

Jiraiya frowned. Now that he'd spotted just the little bit of inconsistency with Naruto, the oblivious attitude seemed off-putting. Jiraiya was sure more than ever now that no one could be that excited and positive all the time. Because now he knew even Naruto had ghosts that came back to haunt him.


	25. Do I Have A Legacy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The jinchūriki are mysterious figures, even to their own descendants.
> 
> There are three people alive that can tell Kagura about his own grandfather, so it's best he hurries up and finds answers before they keel over from old age waiting for him.

He had stumbled across the tales of the last generation of jinchūriki when researching his grandfather, the last true jinchūriki of the Sanbi. In his opinion, they should have been legendary and he was confused as to why someone had gone through the trouble of writing about their epic quests, yet it seemed like the world hardly even remembered that they had ever existed.

There were only two jinchūriki left now. The Hachibi jinchūriki and the Kyūbi jinchuriki, the Rokudaime Hokage. The Rokudaime Hokage was renowned for his kind nature and charisma. When all was said and done, the Hokage was looking like a better candidate for information than the isolated yet eccentric brother of the Yondaime Raikage.

Standing in front of Konohagakure's gates, he had been perfectly confident, perhaps overly so, but, as he sat in one of the waiting chairs in the Hokage's tower, he shifted his feet awkwardly.

Would the Hokage even tell him anything? On one hand, he was just a chūnin from Kirigakure who had hardly any authority, but, on the other, he was the aide of the Rokudaime Mizukage and a direct descendent of the Yondaime Mizukage. Surely that warranted at least a brief audience?

He lurched out of his thoughts at the call of his name. The black-haired lady Hokage Tower secretary smiled warmly at him and he relaxed a little at the gentle woman. He was directed to follow a brunette man with tired eyes upstairs.

It was a little nerve wracking and, at around the third flight of stairs, he stopped to just take a deep breath so he could continue without having a breakdown.

His little break made something clearer to him. This was a genjutsu. The air was very thick for a typically dry summer nation and his 'guide' was paused mid-stride, seemingly waiting for his charge to move before placing his foot down on the next stair.

Narrowing his eyes at the student-grade illusion, he broke out of it with ease and the dull, creamy walls dispersed into much more soothing, earthy red and white. To his left was a dark wood door framed by two green-leaved cherry blossom bonsai trees.

The brunette that had led him to this point gripped his right hand on the handle of one of the worn doorknobs, a smirk tracing his uninterested expression.

He raised an eyebrow at the test. It wasn't strange for a Kage to set up defences in their own office buildings, but what he had done was hardly a genin-level feat. The brunette man gave no explanation, just gesturing his head towards the door to invite the chūnin in.

Stepping forward took less courage than he thought. His breathe hitched at the sound of the doorknob moving and the opening click of the thick doors.

Soon enough, he was left to wait alone once more, but now he was in the Hokage's office in Konohagakure no Sato, sitting in a comfy chair by the door with only the information that the Rokudaime Hokage would be returning shortly.

The circular room roused his curiosity. On his 'side' of the room, it was only the incredibly comfy, thick couch that he just sank into and which curved with the walls. A door was tucked in the corner of his side of the semicircle. The other corner held another ominously harmless door and a bookshelf that mirrored the couch.

Not really seeing much else to do for the duration of his wait, he begrudgingly got up from the comfortable cushions to skulk around the books opposing him. Only expecting the usual boring information about village infrastructure and more useless garbage, he was unsure how to categorise his reaction to the first book his read the title of.

Surprise. Wonder? Confusion?

The first book he stumbled across was a fiction about the children of unfamiliar kami. Glancing along the shelf, he found that it was the first of a series of five and the sequel series was happily settled beside it. The next book he picked up was about a boy named after a kami from the previous series, though they seemed completely unrelated and this was a stand-alone novel. Another book sat alone with an author that had purposely spelt 'magic' wrong. Hunters of shadows. A sun kami (that wasn't Amaterasu) trapped in a mortal body. Eight books about...a boy who made pottery? Actually, seven books and a sequel about his son.

A monkey plushie broke the row of books on one shelf, holding a red heart displaying the word 'Jump' among the rather dull, dusty and antique colours of the many hardcover books. That shelf seemed to be the only one filled with nonfiction.

He slipped out a softcover book from a higher shelf that caught his eye. Bright white, yellow and orange hues had brought his attention, but a murky-coloured green and blue book followed the sunny fiction story, hitting his head on its descent. Muttering about messing up his hair, he grumbled under his breath at the dark novel and picked up both books with an annoyed look.

In truth, his hair looked no messier than usual, going unnoticed by the redhead who entered the room soon after the incident.

The messy-haired chūnin froze, half-bent, wide-eyed as a shinobi opened the door. He didn't move for an uncomfortably long time before snapping to stand at attention and staring, petrified, at the older shinobi who welcomed themselves into the office.

The red-haired shinobi paused at the sight of the young boy who stood guiltily by the bookshelf. Their posture and clothing seemed to say that they were high ranking, explaining why they were allowed to just stroll into the Hokage's office. Books flown open by the fall lay on the floor around the chūnin. The shinobi squinted his eyes at the sight.

Glancing down to the fallen books with unhidden amusement, the redhead raised an eyebrow at the familiar fiction in his hands.

"Karatachi Kagura, right?"

The grey-haired chūnin blubbered undignifiedly for a moment at the unexpected casual tone before shaking off the surprise and nodding his head quickly. He knew he was in trouble even before the tall person began walking towards him.

Instead of issuing any form of punishment for his accident, the older jōnin crouched to pick up the books.

Now that the shinobi was so close, Kagura started to notice more things about them.

Their skin was warm, dark like honey and anise, and flawed. Freckles littered their visible skin like a amateur pointillism. Even their eyelids had darker flecks, mimicking dry tea leaves. Their skin was unevenly coloured, the right side of their face almost Caucasian with scarring, warping the features of their face. Three scratchy birthmarks lined their left cheek (maybe once his right cheek had been the same).

Crimson hair fell down their sides, spilling around them like thick silk or noodles. The hair was dark as well, closer to auburn than the vibrant red he'd seen when introduced to the previous Mizukage.

The earthy tone of their skin and hair made their eyes all the more prominent. They softly pushed aside their opaque veil of red, revealing joy-worn round eyes. Their iris wasn't exactly one colour, as many eyes tended not to be, but had a strong thematic colour of blue. And there were other, more unnatural, underlying colours in their eyes. Were those flecks of gold?

 _Like Lapis Lazuli_ , he mused.

As the redhead stood with the books, Kagura saw their eyes shift with the light, briefly revealing a beautiful shade of bronze-gold that made his heart leap at their fierceness.

He quickly tried to babble out his apologies, but was quickly shushed by the tall shinobi. Kagura felt a little lost as the jōnin cleaned up his mess for him.

The guide that brought him back to reality was a questioning hand on his shoulder.

Looking up, he found another shinobi who was taller than him, but not as much so as the redhead was.

This shinobi was almost unremarkable. He was in peek physical condition (maybe on the softer side, more a weapons and long-range ninjutsu user than a taijutsu expert) and was wearing the dark green flak jacket of the chūnin and jōnin of Konohagakure. He looked like a regular shinobi of the Land of Fire until someone looked at his face.

He eyes churned like ink, like a secret dōjutsu, underlay with compassion and a peaceful self-content. His hair was relatively close-cut except for his bangs, which framed his face flatteringly. There were chaotic lines down his cheeks from his eyes, making him look much older than he likely was and a pale complexion brought out the slight flush in his cheeks, the only sign of the adrenaline released in his body indicating that he'd been running recently.

The tall black-haired man led him gently to stand before the Hokage's desk situated in the centre-back of the semicircle room, cast in light by the wide, open windows that gazed out to the village from the round part of the room.

Kagura was a little put off to the see the red haired jōnin sit in the Hokage's seat and start sorting through a stack of paperwork that had been held down neatly by a frog-shaped paperweight.

The other man in the room went to stand beside the apparent Kage, also reaching out to the paperwork and purposely removing an inconspicuous brown file that was identical to many others that were scattered on the dark wood desk.

The redhead cleared his throat, bringing the chūnin's eyes back up.

"I believe that you asked for a meeting with me?"

Kagura swallowed his nerves and nodded as confidently as he couls.

"Yes, sir. I wanted to talk to you about my grandfather, Karatachi Yagura."

The Hokage's eyes bore heavily into Kagura's. He felt naked in the judgement of those steel eyes, stripped bare of the powerful titles backing him and replaced by the fearful child that had tried his best to act strong in front of this legendary...legend.

He tried to swallow again, but stopped at the awkward thought of the Kage noticing his nervousness.

The redhead smiled, much like a father ready to tell his favourite bedtime story for his children.

"Well, then. Looks like we have a legacy-seeker. My name is Uzumaki Naruto, the Rokudaime Hokage. The man beside me is my most trusted friend and shinobi. You wish to know who your grandfather was, correct?"

He steeled himself and straitened his posture. He nodded to the Kage before him, a determined glint in his eye.

"Then I suppose we may as well grab some takeout and get comfy, because I'm going to tell you tales of madmen."

The redhead's smile grew until their unusually sharp canines became prominent in their grin.

Kagura allowed himself to literally swallow his nerves just once.


	26. Twenty Years To Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uchiha Itachi was a perfectly well-behaved child who was destined to bring honour to the Uchiha Clan.
> 
> Wednesday morning was the first surprise.

Uchiha Fugaku prided himself for his first son, a prodigy like those that had come around only once in a generation. His son's skill was impossibly honed for his age and his intelligence was rivalled by none, thinking much like a Kage in his early years and showing unmatched prowess.

Now five years old and expecting a younger sibling, Uchiha Itachi was praised and lorded above the heads of the other clan heads by his father. He had become master of his emotions, never revealed much of anything to even his close family.

Contently sitting in the kitchen with a newspaper in hand, Fugaku could hear his pregnant wife treating herself with an unhealthy amount of very specific vegetables and tomatoes, a complete oppositions to her cravings of sweet foods when bearing Itachi.

Fugaku was slowly growing slightly concerned. It was full light outside and yet his son was still not downstairs. Breakfast had been forsaken the last few months in exchange for overlooked thievery from his wife's new stockpile of healthy nutrition.

Just as his concerns reached the point of warranting active intervention, he heard the faint sound of feet on the stairs. Calming himself, Fugaku looked up from his paper and froze.

Uchiha Fugaku looked at his son — his emotionally well-guarded, very put-together son — and nearly choked on his own spit.

Itachi was uncharacteristically slouched, torso lax and shoulders limp. Something very similar to a glare squinted his eyes, clouded by grogginess from oversleep and an unwelcoming attitude.

Fugaku's wife, his Uchiha Mikoto, turned to speak to her son, but was silent as Itachi proceeded to start climbing the kitchen drawers, a clear goal to his quest: toast.

It was almost half an hour that was spent toasting bread and Itachi feasted on the over-buttered food with adorable vigour.

Despite the plan of another day dedicated to training, Fugaku found his son in complete disarray and chaos, relaxing and wreaking havoc with behaviour unfit of the Uchiha heir. It was not a good idea to go outside.

Something was anomalous with only this one single day because, the next day, Itachi was his regular self and had no recollection of anything unusual the day before, only that he had trained (which he most definitely had not).

When this sudden day of possession consistently came again and again and again every month with the same results but no answers, Fugaku consulted a shinobi who was leading in the field of psychology and was told that everything would be fine, that it was normal that his son wanted a break every once in a while, especially with his status, so he put up with the random days of unproductiveness.

It would always seemed to happen when Itachi was most stressed and overworked, Mikoto tried to reason with him, and he would always act infinitely better after forgotten days that were jokingly theorised as a foreign body temporarily taking control of of a noble clan heir.

The psychology specialist Fugaku had consulted, Yamanaka Inoichi, was apparently a believer of rumours and brought his concerns to the Sandaime Hokage.

The familiar sound of feet coming down the stairs alerted Fugaku of his not-son. Staggering down the last step, Itachi pattered into the kitchen, hugging his mother's legs on his way to his buffet of overly buttered toast.

Watching their son's relapse into eating an extortionate amount of toast, Mikoto and Fugaku exchanged a glance and affirmative nod. This was the 'possessed' Itachi.

Really, why did they have to do this?

Itachi didn't complain as Mikoto and Fugaku brought him to the Hokage's Tower. He was actually quite content and would do most anything without question if supplied with butter and toast.

The Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, paused in speaking with Inoichi as the Uchiha family entered without so much as a knock from Mikoto, who led them inside with Itachi trailing behind them quietly, gnawing at the folded piece of toast in his hands, leaving a constant crinkling munching sound in the air as he left a trail of breadcrumbs for the janitorial staff.

Having never seen the Uchiha heir in this uncommon state until then, Hiruzen was a little taken aback by the — usually polite and well-mannered — boy's sudden lack of care for cleanliness and affection for toast.

Hiruzen cleared his throat and leaned forward to address the distracted young boy standing between his parents.

Itachi looked up to show the Hokage that his attention had been taken.

Sighing, Inoichi began his part.

"Your name is Uchiha Itachi, correct?" he asked.

"Of course." The raven said before taking another bite of his toast, which slightly muffled his voice. "That's my name, don't wear it out."

"I don't plan to," Inoichi replied to himself in a mumble. He then looked to the Uchiha child. "You may be Uchiha Itachi, but you are not our Uchiha Itachi, correct?"

The constant crinkling munching sound stopped. Crimson eyes flashed tauntingly at Inoichi and a wicked smirk stretched his face.

"How very..." He paused. "...discerning of you, Ino-chan."

Inoichi would have been annoyed by the statement if he had not caught sight of Fugaku's eyes, which were wide and crimson as they stared at his son. Itachi payed no attention to the panic and suspicion that had very quickly seized the room.

Fugaku suddenly took 'Itachi' by the arm and forced him to turn and face him. 'Itachi' scornfully turned away, resisting the stronger hand that kept him in place.

"Who are you?!"

Fugaku's eyes burned crimson and the black mitsudomoe design spun in his irises as his 'son' (almost dutifully) looked away, toast forgotten as the crinling gave away his flexing hand.

The Sandaime, unpleased but empathetic of the Uchiha's behaviour, spoke up, "Itachi-kun."

The boy turned his head farther away from the intense Uchiha patriarch in acknowledgement to the Kage.

"Please, can you explain to us who you are?"

The boy went to nod before he collapsed to the floor, coughing violently. Mikoto ran to her son, shouting out in concern. Fugaku left his grip on the small boy as concern wavered into his eyes.

A medic was immediately called in as Mikoto saw the blood pooling at his feet.

The medic came in - almost too soon - as Itachi's coughing fit died down and the blood being hurled up from his lungs gave way to let him breathe.

The medic took one look at Itachi from the doorway and a glare overtook her originally beautiful visage.

"Karasu."

The boy side eyed the taller woman.

"Namekuji."

The two stood off against each other for several moments, the air in the room getting more and more tense before a young man came barrelling into the room, ramming into the medic.

Itachi suddenly burst out laughing as Namikaze Minato fell on top of the spiteful woman.

"SORRY!"

Minato picked himself up, stifling giggles as he helped up 'Namekuji' from the floor.

Itachi's laughter quickly turned into another coughing fit, though this time bloodless. Nonetheless, Minato rushed to his side faster than Mikoto, who'd hardly backed away from the last time she'd anxiously knelt by Itachi's side.

Minato rubbed comfortingly at the small boy's back as Itachi leaned against him for support, gripping onto the blonde's flak jacket with the strength of an adrenaline-amped pain fest.

The medic huffed in disdain before begrudgingly poking Minato's shoulder and whispering something harshly.

Minato looked at her like she had smacked his wife.

Speaking of: Uzumaki Kushina came through the doors with pursed lips and a look that promised pain.

"Can anyone care to explain why half the people in the village have progressively been quote unquote 'possessed' on every second Wednesday of each month?"

When Minato spoke up, it was the only noise in the room.

"Better?"

"Better," Itachi echoed, nodding and sitting up against the adults on either side of him with a pained grunt.

"What is going on?"

All heads turned to Fugaku.

"Well~" Minato began, only to get cut off by the medic.

"Basically, people in Konoha have progressively been getting episodes of 'possession', causing them to act differently than what they normally would, though not always very. It can be hard to notice some people's changes and exceedingly easy with others, as I'm sure you've noticed with Itachi."

Fugaku frowned at the lack of honorific, but otherwise looked to his 'son' and what he could now recognise as not-Minato.

Minato was a collected person with rare outbursts and secrets so well hidden that no one knew to ask about them, but the man before him was neither collected nor hiding his every reaction.

He couldn't say of the medic, but something was also _wrong_ about how she addressed Itachi.

"'Karasu'." Heads turned back to Fugaku. "Why did you call him that?"

Minato spoke up now.

"The truth is that a lot of these episodes are being triggered by a jutsu created by Orochimaru." A pause for gasps. "He's been attempting to recreate the Nidaime Hokage's Impure World Reincarnation, but, without access to already departed souls, he's attempted on live subjects. Of course, that meant: every person he could lay his hands on. Instead of the desired effect, every time he tries this jutsu, almost religiously every second Wednesday, the soul is shot back in time to a vessel most closely resembling or linked to their own and forced into their body for roughly 12 hours."

Itachi began muttering, hardly loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

"Every time he attempts on a new soul, every soul he has already tried is sent again, hence the growing number."

"This also isn't happening in just Konoha, as expected of Orochimaru." Kushina was speaking up despite being quite herself. "One of the last missions I went on had me encountering a friend from the Land of Waves, but he was...different. Knew too much."

Inoichi nodded to the Hokage, not liking what he knew. How could they be telling the truth?

'Minato' sighed.

"Our only hope is that someone finds Orochimaru, as his chakra flares out dramatically during this jutsu. I was originally the best sensor we had, but I was one of the first to go...along with Itachi."

The Sandaime's eyes narrowed.

"Who are you?"

'Minato' looked up with sad eyes.

"Namikaze Minato died the night I was born. He was the closest match to me this far in the past."

"Who are you?" Inoichi reiterated.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto."


	27. Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes

Sometimes, Deidara questioned why he was here.

Why Akatsuki?

Then he remembered: that bastard Uchiha. The teenager hardly older than him that had brought him to his lowest point in recent memory with less than minimal effort and made him look the fool. Oh, how he wanted to destroy the overpowered bastard, release him into a minefield of his art — only the finest quality for the handsome man — and watch him suffer as he finally came to realise who was superior.

Fatigue from a lacking night's rest began to set in as his thoughts of the elder Uchiha survivor became distant.

Looking to the side, he could see the bright line of chalk that his roommate, Sasori, had established the moment they were forced to share the room. The redhead was turned away from him, wood back unwavering as he worked at his own art diligently.

Deidara scoffed.

Eternity was not art. Art could only be experienced in pieces, the fragments only ever brought together with the unique experiences and suffering of individuals. All should know the fleeting beauty of art, not Sasori's admittedly aesthetically pleasing recreational toys.

Maybe Deidara had a thing for quite a few members of the Akatsuki, but could he blame himself? He only went for the hottest, and S-Rank criminals weren't feared for being ugly. Uchiha Itachi was a prime example, dark and mysterious, while Sasori was too terrible to pass up, the worst artist he'd ever met, but nonetheless an artist and he could respect that.

Grumbling about pale-skinned(wooded?) beauties, Deidara prepared himself for the upcoming hours.

One kidnapped jinchūriki of Sunagakure no Sato was about to be served to Akatsuki on a silver platter, and it was Deidara's turn to cook.

It was over a day later that Deidara had a very sudden dilemma.

Kidnap the jinchūriki Kazekage? Check.

Extract the Ichibi? Success.

Volunteer to hold off reinforcements from Konoha? Well, not 'check' yet, but he could handle it.

The great boulder that defended this particular hideout had cracked and broke apart like glass. The culprit was a frail-looking kunoichi, but she wasn't the centre of his attention. The Kyūbi jinchūriki was set in his sights, easily identifiable by Itachi's description.

Maybe, he mused, she was beautiful.

Long, tousled hair fell around her from a braided ponytail, brighter than his own hair and framing a face of darker skin than his. Then again, she wore an eyesore shade of orange, so Deidara wasn't sure if she was to his standards.

Her blue eyes became crimson as she saw Deidara sitting on the corpse of the latest Kazekage.

He smirked as her anger overwhelmed her.

Sasori could handle himself against the pink-haired kunoichi and old lady, so Deidara was more than free to go flying out of the cave on C2, his flight-capable clay dragon.

Cackling wildly, he spotted the blonde kunoichi trailing him.

He frowned a bit as the silver-haired Copy Ninja began pursuit as well.

The two began conversing, the blonde calming down minutely at the older shinobi's words, then they both stopped pursuing him so intensely. They made sure to stay in sight, but now both parties were out of range of each other.

Taunting didn't do much, though a little bit of personal pride swelled in Deidara as he saw more of the headstrong blonde's chakra flicker red.

The Copy Ninja uncovered his left eye and Deidara growled.

The Sharingan. That thing was going to be the death of him, he swore.

Wary of the famous jōnin having a long range Sharingan ability like Itachi, Deidara picked up his pace and height, not actually very scared. No one was as powerful as that damned Uchiha, but it was fine to be a bit careful. People didn't become famous in the Bingo Books of foreign countries for being dead.

Of course, Deidara didn't expect his arm to be sniped off.

And that's the story of how Deidara found himself alone in the forest, armless and desperately hiding. He scoffed at his missing arms. Worse could've happened. Better his arms than his life, he mused, especially against Kakashi of the Sharingan.

It was too long before anything happened. Deidara decided to stay put in the forest so Akatsuki could find him. Then again, Deidara didn't expect someone else to find him. He really needed to stop getting surprised by things.

"An apology would be nice y'know."

Deidara did not scream. Nope. But he did whip around and leap back, coming face to face with the blonde jinchūriki who was so fond of the Kazekage. She was a lot less angry than be expected.

She stood behind where he just was, hands shoved in her pockets almost lazily, looking bored in an almost mocking imitation of the Copy Ninja.

"Y'know," the blond continued. "An apology? For kidnapping and killing my friend."

"What, you have a thing for him or somethin', un?"

The blonde wasn't nearly as annoyed at his comment as she should be considering everything he knew about her, but he still saw the ire that flashed in her eyes and the sharp breath that flared her eyelids and nostrils.

"Gaara's like a brother to me so: no way!"

Deidara snickered, but then blinked.

"You know that your little Kage friend's dead, right?"

The blonde scoffed and smirked, too much like an Uchiha, a look in her eye he'd come to despise from being around Sasori, a look that said she knew everything you did and everything you didn't.

"What?" Deidara reprimanded. "What's with the look?!"

"Secret."

Deidara didn't know why, didn't know how or when, but the jinchūriki was gone in a moment and all he could do was wonder why she hadn't even attempted to attack him.

It was a long time before he saw her again. This time, he had no idea what accursed deity decided to make them cross paths.

Sasori was dead and Deidara has been paired with an eccentric masked idiot who spoke in only the third person.

"Tobi wants water!"

This guy was really getting on his nerves. Even the waiter's smile began to strain.

Kakazu had sewn Deidara's arms back on and now he had his limbs back, which only made him more tempted to blow up the idiot he'd been partnered with.

"Wow, you're almost as annoying as me!"

Tobi and Deidara's heads snapped to the newcomer.

Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Orange eyesore.

Tobi froze for a moment and Deidara's eyes narrowed as the blonde as she casually walked away with a waiter, both going to the doors to the kitchen and the rest of the teahouse.

Tobi was being Tobi again and Deidara soon forgot about the uncomfortable situation to threaten Tobi with death again.

Deidara celebrated only having to deal with one annoying orange-themed person too soon.

The jinchūriki returned in the wait staff uniform of the teahouse and Tobi's water.

Deidara immediately slammed down money on the table and dragged Tobi out of the teahouse.

Nope. No. Nope. It was his day off. He was not dealing with more things than whatever Tobi dished out. Only Tobi. No jinchūriki.

Apparently, the jinchūriki had taken up the duty of returning Deidara's change to him since he'd overpaid after leaving his entire wallet at the teahouse. Deidara slammed the door in her face before she'd even stopped grinning in some morbid pride at having found him. He didn't question how she knew where that Akatsuki hideout was. Or every other hideout.

Thirteen slammed doors, using Tobi as a distraction, going broke over ramen and stabbing the blonde with a three foot long poker from Itachi's mansion of a fireplace had Deidara wailing on the kitchen counter over a tub of ice cream in one of the Akatsuki hideouts. He didn't know which one and he didn't care.

Kakazu came in, frowned disdainfully at the despairing blonde laid out on the kitchen counter like the protagonist of a cliché princess runaway story because of an arranged marriage by her father, perused the fridge, grabbed leftovers from the one time a now-dead member cooked six years ago, and left.

Itachi came in eventually and Deidara got up excitedly, ready to use the Uchiha to forget his woes, when he saw the Kyūbi jinchūriki trailing behind him. Paying no mind to the fact she was counting the cracks in the ceiling, Deidara shot a cowering glare at Itachi. He ignored Deidara and opened the fridge, immediately closing it from the odour and turned around to leave.

The jinchūriki looked at Deidara, held her hands together for the hand seals for Henge and left with a wink. Itachi was no better.

"No one will ever believe you."

If Kakazu heard Deidara's frustrates scream, he'd swear he was deaf since the day Hidan dragged him into an explosion a few months back.

Itachi and the jinchūriki had somehow become friends and the blonde had taken to being anywhere Itachi was (or maybe it was the other way round considering Itachi always seemed to be following her) which also meant that Deidara stalking his eternal rival lead to a lot of unnecessary meetings with his fellow blonde.

He never let her greetings get past 'h-' before he turned the other way.

It was just his luck that the only time he was free of the Kyūbi Jinchūriki was when he was on missions with Tobi, which was hardly much better, but he thought that his luck might finally be coming to a positive turn as he spotted Uchiha Sasuke.

Yes!

He could get revenge on Itachi through his little brother!

Patting himself on the back for his ingenious plan, Deidara made to swoop down and ambush the younger Uchiha.

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi doesn't think this is a good idea!"

"Oh, shut up, Tobi, this is my chance!"

"But-"

Deidara turned to reprimand Tobi, but the hand on his shoulder wasn't Tobi. In fact, Tobi wasn't right behind him, he remembered. He was meant to be in the sky alone today. Instead, the Kyūbi jinchūriki sat behind him, and he was scared.

The hand on his shoulder wasn't tight, her eyes were open for all to see, her smile was soft and genuine, but she didn't move a single muscle. Her eyes were slowly going bloodshot and her smile seemed less and less genuine as the seconds ticked by. It was about a minute into the strange interaction that Deidara grabbed a kunai and gently poked her. She vanished in a cloud of chakra-infused white smoke.

Goddamn shadow clones.

Those had been a nuisance as well, constantly showing up and only differentiable from the original body because they weren't with Itachi and were always in places that they shouldn't be.

The only levity to his situation was that he got to periodically stab the Kyūbi jinchūriki.

Of course, stabbing the jinchūriki had somehow become an offensive movement since she'd inaugurated herself into their lives, so Deidara often found Itachi lurking near him, eyes threatening to turn red and face scrunched in disdain.

There were strange changes that happened with the blonde's appearance among them: Konan appeared more; the elusive leader seemed less and less aware of what was actually happening; Tobi had begun defending his food with power he didn't possess in any other situation; Kakazu had avoided the jinchūriki at all costs to stay away from Hidan, who had become enamoured with her when she killed a mercenary and turned around with a huge smile and promised lunch to everyone (Deidara dreaded having to kidnap her and was glad he wasn't in charge of the Kyūbi's capture); Kisame had all but become an older brother, easily riled up but only he was allowed to lay a hand on her and if anyone else dared he'd come for them.

And Itachi?

Itachi hovered over the jinchūriki like a human shield and Deidara often half-expected him to bring out a spray bottle and squirt anyone within three feet of his precious blonde. No one was sure if Itachi knew how he appeared to everyone. But something that cemented Itachi's new cliché role was that he could be seen with anyone, but the jinchūriki was only seen with him.

Itachi was like an overbearing, overprotective boyfriend and Deidara had no idea why that bothered him so much. It was only observation that pinned Itachi and the jinchūriki as beautiful, outrageously hot people, not genuine attraction.

Deidara groaned into his hands and called himself an idiot under his breath.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

He didn't have to look up to know it was the loudmouthed blonde girl who'd snuck into his room, and he would've glared if he wasn't so mentally drained.

He paused his drama as he realised that this was the first time he'd seen her without Itachi by her side since she'd first entered the Akatsuki's domain.

It made him hope, but he had no idea what for.


	28. Ocean Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto dreams of being respected enough to become Hokage despite being a jinchūriki, and Utakata can't help but think of the past.

Karatachi Yagura was one of Kiri's jinchūriki, appointed as their living weapon of mass destruction since the day he was chosen to be the host of the Sanbi. Too bad for the hierarchy, Yagura was well on his way to becoming the leader of their village.

"Mizukage, huh?"

Yagura nodded forlornly. He had precious years of what amounted to 'freedom' for jinchūriki left if he was truly chosen to become the Yondaime Kage of Kirigakure.

"Aren't you too short to even be considered?"

The dark-haired teenager behind him suddenly had a curved staff hooked around his neck and was brought down to Yagura's height to be face to face with his comrade. Baring his teeth like fangs, a stilted growl came from the shorter boy's throat.

"Call me short again and I'll become Mizukage just to give you D-Ranks for the rest of your life."

The dark-haired shinobi smirked.

"Aww, need a weapon to bring an unarmed ally to your level? How cute."

Yagura's chakra flickered red with demonic chakra for a moment before the darker haired shinobi ducked out of the staff's hook and swept at Yagura's legs.

Yagura fell off the roof he'd been perched on, flailing and shouting curses as the taller boy sprinted away laughing maniacally.

* * *

The black-haired boy "ha ha"ed mockingly under his breath as he ran away from Yagura's distant cursing.

He was Utakata, the future host of the Rokubi, and about as normal as any other shinobi — with things he liked and things he hated and loyalty to his Kage — bar his status as one of Kiri's most valuable and volatile assets. Of course, his next Kage was possibly going to be his fellow jinchūriki, so he wondered if he should get closer to the other host.

He brushed away the thought.

He and Yagura never had much interaction besides his occasional jabs at Yagura's height and their passing meetings when matters regarding the bijū were brought up by the Kirigakure higher-ups, though the limited association didn't stop his admiration of his coral pink eyes or the small genuine smile he'd once seen on that face.

Utakata supposed that a lot of things should have made them friends; they were both jinchūriki of Kirigakure no Sato, both had relatively healthy relationships with their bijū and they were raised almost exactly the same. But that wasn't enough. He and Yagura could never be friends.

So what was the fluttering in the pits of his stomach every time Yagura's face lit up red in anger and embarassment? What was the tightening in his chest when Yagura's attention was turned to another person?

Why did he care?

* * *

The fogs were only classified as a natural disaster in Mizu no Kuni, and odd places in Kaze no Kuni. In Mizu, they moved fast, covering entire villages, so thick they left water in the lungs and left a daily laundry soaked clothes despite the rare rain.

Kirigakure no Sato, even as the biggest chakra-populated village in Mizu no Kuni, was still none the wiser to the thickening air until they were completely consumed by it, and what was once sometimes (very rarely if you squinted and turned your head at an odd angle to catch the sunlight's reflection on a shiny surface) sunny became a place where stepping outside meant death by secret assassin or water-logged lungs. About the only people who could stand to be in the fog longer than a few moments were the two Mizu jinchūriki, who'd been raised in the unforgiving country and had specially adapted with their bijū to survive the climate year-round.

This left Yagura and Utakata as the only living creatures in the fog except for the few rare lost people who'd never be found, though reports of sightings would surely follow their disappearances.

This wasn't uncommon, but this was one of the worst fogs Mizu no Kuni had experienced for quite a few years.

Utakata wondered when was the last time he'd been so isolated. His sensei was cooped up inside, doing official work he'd been putting off for weeks with excuses that didn't hold up with the untiring fog that even he couldn't survive in. Utakata knew no one else.

Utakata briefly mused going to Yagura - he was only halfway across the village from him. A talk about what it was like being jinchūriki would be welcome after over a decade of being forced to live with only the demon sealed away inside of him as his source of answers and entertainment. Would Yagura even talk to him?

The two were the only ones in the fog, but they did not work.

No shinobi of Mizu could see or sense through the fog that hung heavy with the chakra it had gathered from around it, residues of shinobi training and the small techniques that had built up so much chakra over the decades of Kiri's existence that terrible weather meant that no one was going anywhere.

If a Shinobi of these lands couldn't find their way around, neither could a shinobi of any another.

Utakata was content to watch the changing clouds rolling along higher than the eyes could see, but a Shinobi landing next to him startled him into a defensive position. Yagura was unfazed by the reaction, sitting next to him with more noise than typically appropriate for a shinobi of his skill.

Sinking to the ground and out of his stance, Utakata glanced to the side at Yagura's blank look, wondering why he was here. Yagura gave no allusions to his intentions, just watching the fog as Utakata had, following some untraceable pattern he likely saw considering his bijū was much more water-related than Utakata's gooey slug of a companion.

Utakata opened their conversation instead.

"Would the village even let you?"

Yagura didn't acknowledge him with a glance, but his shift in posture to lift up his leg on the ledge of the roof they sat on told him more than was meant to.

"If I don't try, they'll never."

'And if you do?'

Utakata kept the silence longer. They didn't speak for the rest of the fog.

* * *

"Would you look at that," Utakata mumbled bitterly, Yagura's inauguration as Mizukage bringing a dark tilt to his voice.

The screams were terrible. He could call them them out as Yagura's doing, but he wouldn't have done this.

 _Yagura would not have done any of this_ , he told himself, but what did he know of Yagura to be able to say that?

The bloodshed lasted so long even Kiri civilians knew the moniker the other villages had given them. They knew it'd be almost impossible to change in the coming decades long after Yagura's reign send lineage had died and been left for dust.

Utakata left Kirigakure with a trail of bodies behind him, the walls of the buildings melting as easily as candles and stabbing the ice growing on him with all the weapons he had.

He'd never seen those eyes that followed he out of the village. Those were not Yagura's eyes.

* * *

Maybe it was bad timing, but he was there. He was there and watched on blankly as the screaming continued.

The only interest was the black flames. The curious things would not extinguish. He mused to himself about the unusual flames and the man who'd conjured them, trying his best to look away, but he saw.

They caught each other's gaze and those eyes weren't ones he hadn't seen before, but they weren't Yagura.

They were bleached red with the demonic chakra that was being burned by black fire, and they screamed.

Utakata didn't leave until what was left of Yagura was indistinguishable ash.

* * *

There was a boy he met who had eyes like Yagura.

They were blue and said nothing of the emotions otherwise plain as day. They had a golden sheen and became purple as anger infested his mind.

Uzumaki Naruto was peculiar for his eyes, his birthmarks, his hair, his personality, but he had eyes like Yagura. Eyes born from the ocean.


	29. A Testament of Things That Never Were

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past is as fickle as the future, and nothing will ever be remembered as it was.

It was a dreary dawn, the rainy opening of otherwise sunny and chilly days. Dawn was always the ugliest part of the day, the sun rising behind stroppy grey clouds which couldn't decide what weather they wanted, the sky perpetually overcast until mid morning when the clouds cleared to instead gather around the edges of the horizon and people outside winced as they tried to get used to the sudden summer sun that would continue for most of the day.

Naruto was one of the few awake during the dark early hours, rushing around doing the daily chores so afternoon-Naruto wouldn't have to deal with them while the sun was out. Dark time was chore time, one of the few scheduled events he had in his disorganised life.

As distracted as he was so early in the morning, he almost didn't react when someone came knocking at his door.

Dropping his broom in delayed surprise, he scrambled to the front door so fast he forgot he was wearing socks.

Outside, Madara was curious to the painful thump he heard, a small smile nearly nearly reaching his face when Naruto opened the door clutching his head.

Seeing Madara's amusement, Naruto grumbled grumpily, "Just come in or whatever."

Left with the door ajar as Naruto walked back inside, Madara glanced around and reached out his chakra to double check that no one was around before entering.

Madara paused as he was taking off his shoes.

Was that blood?

The shelf near the door had a reddish stain on one corner that had Madara rushing after Naruto.

"HEY-"

Madara cut off Naruto's indignant shout as he grabbed his head to rake through his hair. An uncomfortably large, bloody gash was slowly staining the blonde.

Naruto complained loudly as he stumbled after Madara into the kitchen, dragged after him by the arm.

Madara paid no heed to Naruto's complaints as he dampened a washcloth to pat through his hair to clean off the blood. Digging around through Naruto's hair, he found the origin of the blood and snarled.

Having none of the crude behaviour, Naruto lightly whacked his arm, forcing the upsetting face off to be replaced with a regular concerned frown.

Naruto babbled on as Madara cleaned up the profusely bleeding flesh wound, hands behind him back and balancing on the balls of his feet as he tugged down his sleeves, hiding the bruises and half-scabbed grazes.

"You clumsy idiot," Madara said exasperatedly, lightly shoving Naruto's shoulder.

"My knight in bloody armour," Naruto quipped back, making Madara cringe as Naruto reached up to wipe off a smear of blood that had found its way onto Madara's jaw.


	30. A Testament of Things That Never Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you really think relationships can last more than one lifetime?"
> 
> "I don't see why not."

Rebirth was strange, Naruto mused, especially considering he wasn't Hashirama.

The old sage had told him that Ashura had been reborn as Hashirama, but with the revelation of his past he knew that he'd never been Hashirama. Ashura? Maybe. But Hashirama wasn't a memory. He wasn't so adamant to find Sasuke just because he was his friend - there was someone else. Another Uchiha was dark hair and a foul attitude that he'd once knew, but not as Hashirama.

Hashirama stood next to him, but Madara's eyes weren't on him. Naruto caught his eye and they both knew.

Tobirama seemed to be the only one who understood what was happening, sending glances to the pink-haired medical-nin a few feet from him who also seemed to slowly be piecing together what was happening.

The war continued on regardless.

After Obito and Madara and Zetsu and Kaguya, Naruto knew Sasuke would be the next problem, the next big enemy, when he saw the _look_ in his eye, but he wasn't the main concern.

Hashirama knelt next to the dying Madara and Naruto practically sprinted over to them, managing, in all his war hero status and tiredness, to trip over dirt and face-plant next to Madara.

"You clumsy idiot," Madara said exasperatedly, lightly shoving the downed Naruto's shoulder.

"My knight in bloody armour," Naruto quipped back, wiping over Madara's pant leg to show him the blood that stained his hand as he moved away.

Hashirama stepped back, but only Tobirama and Sakura caught the way Madara and Naruto squeezed each other's hands as Madara slowly died.

"I can't believe I almost forgot you," Madara grumbled bitterly.

Naruto grinned weakly.

"I'd say I missed you, but you're still a little bitch."

Hashirama snorted in surprise, making Madara glare at him, but his attention was quickly brought back to Naruto and he propped himself up on his elbows. Naruto places one hand on Madara's cheek and Sakura was so sure they were going to kiss that she almost dropped Kakashi (who she was supporting in his chakra exhausted state) when Naruto pinched his cheek.

Madara reached up with strength borne of petty revenge and pinched back, leading to a tired pinch war that Naruto was steadily winning.

Tobirama muttered numbers under his breath to tally the victor, but paused when he started glowing. Chunks of all the Hokage began breaking off and Naruto was called over to his father to say goodbye.

Naruto missed Madara's death, but Hashirama heard their last words.

"Happy birthday, idiot."

"See you on the other side, bloody knight."


	31. No-Name Shinobi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parents' Day at the Academy seemed like a joke, but at least Sasuke wouldn't be the only orphan. Earning a new big brother wasn't on his itinerary, though, so he had some things to reconsider.

Sasuke cursed this day. The Academy was just insensitive, he supposed, but that didn't stop the painful memories.

Earlier than was usual even for him, he arrived at the Academy only a short time before the clouds that overcast Konoha mornings were due to leave. Expecting no one else but staff – and even then, not all of them – he was startled to see a blonde haired man arriving at the Academy grounds hardly moments before him. More unexpectedly, he didn't enter the building, instead finding a spot he seemed to like and settled there to watch the changing leaves on some of the youngest and smallest trees in Konoha, only reaching around twenty-five or thirty feet each (each due to continue growing).

Considering that he was early, Sasuke settled a ways away from the man to keep an eye on him, a gut feeling telling him to stay despite not knowing why.

The man was vaguely familiar. He was tall and wearing similar pants to those of most chūnin and jōnin. He wore standard shinobi sandals, black to match the rest of his outfit, and the plainest high collared sweater Sasuke had ever seen. He held himself in a completely relaxed manner, arms folded as opposed to Sasuke's hands in his pockets. The man had bright blonde hair, unlike the sandy coloured hair attributed to the nuclear leading family of Konoha's Yamanaka Clan. He kept his hair longer than most, one of the defining traits seen among Yamanaka despite hair colour or distance of lineage from the head family, reaching just below his shoulders, though it was thick and presumably longer if its slightly waved ends were straighter. It was pulled back into a low ponytail, still leaving hair to cover his face and in his eyes. Sasuke would have frowned at the detrimental haircut but was drawn by the hiding eyes. They were incredibly blue, vibrant unlike the mainline Yamanaka.

The longer Sasuke stared at this man, the more he compared him to the Yamanaka Clan heir and one of his classmates, Yamanaka Ino. It was as though someone brightened her hair and cut it shorter, brightened her eyes, darkened her skin to be almost as dark as someone native to Kumo, and made her a man, though that was debatable due to his more androgynous and feminine features, like his softer jaw and long eyelashes. So: he looked nothing like Ino.

Then again, that just described another of his classmates, Uzumaki Naruto, who had bright blonde hair, bright blue eyes, dark skin (though not as dark as this stranger), slightly androgynous features, and very distinct markings that he shared with the older man: three whisker-like marks indiscernible as scars or birthmarks on each cheek that accentuated the age of their bearers, though the elder's were darker and looked to be like indentations from what Sasuke could see. He was unsure if Naruto's were as well, having never paid attention.

If he didn't know that Naruto was an orphan and would probably take any opportunity to talk about his family if he had any, Sasuke would've called the man Naruto's brother or uncle, maybe cousin, but he did know and was very well-aware that Naruto was as alone as he was, reminded on this dreaded day by the Academy: Parents' Day.

Sasuke never understood why the day was so late in the Academy years, when the students' lives were already set in stone and very unlikely to change. Maybe that was why: parents couldn't interfere. He might never know, but he wondered who the blonde man was waiting for.

Speaking of the dumbest student in his class, Sasuke spotted Naruto walking towards the Academy, head down. Noticing that he was almost at his desired destination, Naruto looked up and spotted the blonde-haired man.

Sasuke has never seen such pure elation on the face of someone who was known to smile the biggest grins.

"ANIKI!"

The blonde-haired man's head snapped around to Naruto and, though quieter, yelled after the boy who was sprinting towards him, "Hey, otōto!"

_Brothers?_

Sasuke froze as he saw Naruto excitedly bound up to his 'aniki,' the biggest smile on his face that the man returned just as brightly.

"I thought you couldn't come 'cause you were out of village! Weren't you doing some super important stuff in that mountain-y place?"

"Oh, otōto, if you should call, I would come from the very edges of the continent to see you. You think a few mountains could get in my way?"

The man smiled softly in a way that made Sasuke clench his hands, the familiarity of it making him want to punch that face. His own brother had smiled like that to him.

"Don't believe him," Sasuke growled.

The two blond-haired people looked at him questioningly, their synchronised mirrored responses further cementing their relation.

With attention now on him, Sasuke continued, "Don't trust that man. I've seen what a 'kind' brother can hide with a _that_ smile."

Naruto looked offended and made to yell at Sasuke, but the elder's hand on his head made him look back in inquiry.

"Then it's quite lucky that Naruto-kun and I aren't truly brothers, isn't it?" Still unsure where this was going, Naruto looked around in a gesture less for help and more to express that he was confused as his 'aniki' addressed Sasuke. "Naruto-kun and I don't actually know how we're related, but DNA tests do confirm that we are. It just happens that I've accepted Naruto-kun as my precious otōto."

Naruto smile brightly with a twinge of embarrassment at being called in such a familial manner.

Sasuke frowned and almost glared, and the elder seemed to have an answer for this too.

"Just because your brother betrayed you doesn't mean that everyone else will. Most often, people betray you because you didn't trust the right people."

The blonde man suddenly looked sheepish.

"I never introduced myself, did I? It's awfully rude for me to be trying to give you life advice when you don't even know my last name."

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Naruto tugged on his older brother's sleeve to get his attention. "Can I introduce you?"

"Of course."

Naruto cleared his throat and gave a very bad imitation of an announcer's voice as he said, "Introducing the one, the only, my awesome big brother and no one else's because if anyone takes him I'll cry and punch them-" Naruto took a deep breath to recover and he dramatically gestured to the taller man. "NAMONAKI HASU!"

Sasuke snorted and Naruto looked very confused.

"You expect me to believe his last name is 'nameless'?"

Naruto still looked confused.

"It's his name..?"

Hasu gave an airy laugh, patting Naruto on the head again.

"Actually, I'm an orphan as well. When I ended up at the orphanage, I was barely a new-born. The hospital called me Hasu, but the orphanage gave me my last name. Every unnamed person at the orphanage gets the last name Mumei and then changes it when they leave. I just decided to almost keep it."

"Okay," Sasuke muttered to himself.

"Ah," Hasu brought the kids' attention. "Some other students and parents are probably going to start arriving soon. D'you wanna go in?"

Naruto tried to rush off, stopped barely feet away, then turned back to Sasuke.

"Is anyone here for you?"

Sasuke glared, but it didn't deter Naruto as he practically begged Hasu, "Can you, like, adopt Sasuke? Like, just for today, 'ttebayo! He doesn't have anyone!"

Sasuke made to protest, but Hasu smiled at him so softly the words stuck in his throat.

"I'd be honoured to be your family for a day, if you'd allow me."

Not saying a word, all of them still unutterable by him, Sasuke looked away. He didn't see Hasu smile bright or Naruto awkwardly realise what he'd just done, but he felt Hasu ruffle his hair. He gave an indignant shout and Naruto burst out laughing, Hasu not far behind as he covered his mouth to hide his smile.

A hand was then on his shoulder, like he remembered his mother once doing so he wouldn't get lost after he'd thrown a tantrum that he was old enough to walk without holding her hand. Looking over, a matching hand was holding Naruto's hand, though instead of to hold it was ready to be led.

"Lead the way, boys."

It was still quiet in the school when Sasuke and Naruto managed to get Hasu to their classroom and Iruka, their teacher, looked startled to see Hasu.

"Who's this?" Iruka asked the two.

Naruto excitedly proclaimed, "He's a long lost relative! Jiji let us do a super easy test at the hospital that said we were related and now I call him big brother! And! And! And! Sasuke doesn't have anyone for Parents' Day, so I offered and now Sasuke and I are brothers for a day!"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the sudden realisation, a little bothered that he still couldn't find it in himself to protest, but a glance as Hasu's genuine smile made him keep his mouth shut. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

"My name's Hasu," he introduced himself cheerfully. "You must be Iruka-sensei, yeah?"

Iruka nodded, glancing between Naruto and Hasu, then lingering on Sasuke for a moment before inviting them to sit down.

Because it was Parents' Day, the classroom had an extra row of chairs and tables set up at the front for the influx of people, but otherwise there was simply going to be more people crowded at each set of wide tables and benches than usual.

Sasuke ended up choosing where they sat, going straight to his seat a row back from the usual front and next to the window. Naruto settled next to him and then Hasu, sitting as though not expecting more people and Sasuke was silently glad, hoping to stave off the fangirls from being near him for as long as possible.

"Sasuke-kun," Hasu called to get his attention. "I can't exactly call you my baby brother for a day if I don't know anything about you. Wanna impart any wisdom? Hobbies? Life goals? Dislikes?"

Sasuke didn't plan on answering, but Hasu's expectant look pried his lips open.

"My goal is to restore the Uchiha Clan and to kill a certain man."

"Cool."

Hasu's nonchalant reaction caught Sasuke off guard and snapped him out of the brooding stupor he was about to fall into. Naruto seemed pretty interested too.

"What?"

"Cool," Naruto repeated for Hasu. "Who is this guy? How'd he manage to fuck shit up so badly he has _you_ after him?"

Sasuke waited for Hasu's reprimand at Naruto swearing - as he was sure Itachi would've done to Sasuke had he ever sworn in front of him - but was almost disappointed, yet all the same felt a nagging jealousy at their casual relationship.

Ignoring Naruto's jab at him, Sasuke answered bitterly, "My older brother. I believed that he was a good person, but he killed our entire family to test his strength and left only me alive, saying I was the only one he believed could get strong enough to one day try and kill him."

"So you're gonna try and kill him?" Naruto looked confused. "What the hell - you're just gonna listen to what the mass murderer says for you to do, 'ttebayo?!"

"I need to avenge my family!"

"You need to stop listening to crazy people, 'ttebayo!"

"Ah, to be young," Hasu interrupted fondly.

Naruto and Sasuke looked to him, confused.

"You two sound so much like when Itachi, Anko-chan, Shisui-kun and I used to get into arguments over what the best food was. It was really unfair! Itachi and Anko-chan both said dango, but Shisui-kun and I disagreed so we never won. We even got Fugaku-san and Izumi-chan involved, but Fugaku-san liked ignoring us unless it was to watch Itachi be awesome and Izumi-chan had the biggest crush on Itachi and wouldn't disagree with him. When Itachi got into Anbu, we even managed to get his captain in the discussion, but he had a different opinion too that he wouldn't even tell us!"

Hasu continued to talk at length about the Great Food Wars, featuring people Sasuke had once knew and people he'd never heard of, entrancing Naruto and making Sasuke constantly note to start talking with him more due to his revealed history with Itachi.

As Hasu's rant calmed down, Iruka long gone to do something or other somewhere else and both kids completely lost by the number of names and people mentioned, Sasuke burst in.

"How did you know Itachi?"

Hasu gave him a look he couldn't quite place.

"Right, Itachi was your brother, wasn't he?"

Naruto looked flabbergasted as he yelled, "He's the one who killed your family?!"

Sasuke nodded and Hasu smiled forlornly.

"Itachi and I met when we were both really young. Like, four, or something. I don't quite remember why we met, but it happened, and we actually became really close friends. He and I went to the Academy together for a while before he graduated, like, six months in or something, but I graduated really soon after too, promise! We didn't see each other for a while...I think I next saw him when a member of his genin team was killed on a mission and the rest of the team got put in hospital. If I remember right," Hasu gave Sasuke a look that made him pay more attention, "that was the mission where Itachi first activated his Sharingan."

Naruto just became more confused, but Hasu gave him a very summary of what the Sharingan was, to which Naruto's only answer was to exclaim, "So cool!"

"Do you think I could defeat Itachi?"

Hasu's face became one of seriousness, the first Sasuke had seen on him.

"Right now? No. In a few years? It depends. You'll need a really good sensei, a great work ethic, some friends to support you when things get hard, and a will to persevere, because you will fail, a lot, but if you want to accomplish anything, you've gotta pick yourself right back up and carry on no matter how difficult it is. But you also need to know when to stop."

Sasuke wanted Hasu to elaborate (he couldn't just stop), but the first few parents and students started coming in and discussions of more than five years ago were barred. Most were civilian, early due to a want to impress, slightly put out about the three already in the classroom before they entered. Whispers went around as kids explained who everyone was to their parents and, slowly, the reason that their graduation class was so famous among their generation became clear.

Uchiha Sasuke was, of course, infamous in the village as the lone survivor of the Uchiha Massacre, but there was more to the class than a famous trauma victim.

Inuzuka Kiba arrived with his mother, the head of the Inuzuka Clan, and his older sister, the Clan heir. He had his ninken-in-training, Akamaru, with him as always, a staple feature of the Inuzuka Clan.

Heiress Hyūga Hinata entered with more attention on her than her shy personality usually warranted, her closest cousin from the side branch of her clan and a caretaker with her – her father, the Hyūga clan head, was nowhere in sight.

The heirs of the Akimichi and Nara clans came in together, best friends Chōji and Shikamaru, with their parents, a startling realisation of their resemblance becoming uncanny as Shikamaru and his father immediately attempted to nap at the nearest desk, only to be threatened awake by Shikamaru's mother. Chōji and his parents were less argumentative, all of them already equipped with snacks that they shared between the three of them.

Aburame Shino, clan heir, and his father, clan head of the Aburame, walked in with hardly any attention from anyone but Hasu, who stood and greeted the two pleasantly out of earshot and then quickly returned to Naruto and Sasuke before the seat could be taken by the next civilian family that wandered in.

Heiress of the Yamanaka, Ino, arrived with both her parents and her love rival's family. She and her rival, Haruno Sakura, were more mellow and less loud and annoying to Sasuke with their parents around to supervise them, something he was incredibly glad for.

Not many other students were of note, but the influx of incredibly important clans of Konoha made this classroom crowded with people who were practically the up-and-coming celebrities of Konohagakure by birthright.

Then again, people leered once they spotted Uzumaki Naruto, but they supposed it was a balance. The best with the very worst.

Sasuke didn't notice the looks, too used to being stared at regardless, but Hasu gave a chilling glower to the families who glanced at them the wrong way, a protective arm over Naruto's shoulders that he didn't complain about, snuggling against his elder brother.

Iruka returned before the last families, basking in the sun that finally began to reveal itself as he waited.

With all the parents in the room, Iruka didn't have to resort to using any jutsu to scare the students into silence, so he was able to start teaching.

"Due to the number of shinobi currently in this room, I think it's only fair to talk about some famous shinobi, some of which your parents might have even know. I think I'll start less with me and more with all the adults here. The Kyūbi Attack was devastating, but it's better to remember those that died than to continue to forget what made them important. Would anyone like to share a person they'd like to remember."

Naruto raised his hand.

"...Naruto?"

"The Yondaime Hokage!"

"Naruto, I meant the adults for a reason. It's people they knew who died, not just people you just happen to know died that day."

Hasu's hand raised from where it was wrapped around Naruto's shoulder.

"Yes, Hasu-san?"

"Uzumaki Kushina."


	32. The Boy With A Different Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui hated every way he was like his family, and every way he wasn't.

Shisui was a happy person, a crime to his family. He smiled too often, encouraging and sincere as any citizen trying their best to get by in the world that sought in war what it called a cure for kindness. His reputation preceded him with his curly hair and skin so unsightly, marred by a hundred thousand beauty marks that strangers cringed away from.

Shisui had nothing of his family in him, yet he had everything.

His hair was considered amongst the darkest in the village, even among his family, and his skin was still pale from genetics and night shifts despite his active job. He could admit that he thought highly of himself, having become a success in youth as was prided by his family, and he felt the telltale burning in his chest every time he lay eyes upon his young cousin, the ultimate genius and pride of his family.

And he had those eyes.

They burned, like the jealousy that raged as he saw his cousin win praise effortlessly. His head had pounded and ached and set the thumping tempo to a war drum as he'd watched all the death and destruction that surrounded the war, and his eyes were one of the casualties.

He could look in the mirror and smile, bring out all that was wrong about him, squinting as he beamed and radiated cheer, running his hand through his _curly_ hair a million times a day in an unbecoming tic.

He could look in the mirror and he couldn't look away as the crimson pooled and stained his cheeks like mocking tears, dull in comparison to the glowing violence in his eyes. He ran his hands through his hair a million times a day, begging the complaints, all the women who refused to touch their hair lest it become flat, to come to fruition and give him the features of his family. Give him the face, the disposition, the drama. Anything to be looked upon with positive attention.

But here he was, standing on the edge of a cliff, taking his own eye out as he saw the last of his best friend - enemy - the boy he'd forever love and cherish and loath as he saw those Uchiha eyes he'd always desired widen in horror, still composed well for his age.

As Shisui backed to the edge of the cliff, he heard the silent begging for him to stop, could feel the shock and terror as he handed his eye to his cousin.

As Shisui backed into the open air past the cliff, stumbling literally blind, he knew he could've chosen not to die, but he knew better.

As Shisui felt the lack of ground underneath his next step backwards, he smiled his most un-Uchiha smile and agreed with the insanity of his own thoughts.

In the end, he may have hated himself, but it was for everything that was different about him, not because of his family.

In the end, Shisui knows he'd never choose the village over his family, no matter how much he morally aligned either side — and inaction is, within itself, action against your cause.

If he couldn't do it, he knew his cousin could. His genius cousin, who was years younger yet would do what he would never. He would entrust his baby cousin (not so much a baby anymore, he reminded himself as always) with a task that only constituted as a last resort.

He was just glad that he wouldn't be around to see the death of his family, that his last memory of them would be an uncle's kind words and a cousin's horror.

As Shisui began to fall, he smiled.


End file.
